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Just Saying

Sunday, 16 December 2012

How strange, you don’t have a CONDOM in your wallet??……!!!!!!!!!!!!! An Article by Sobhan Pramanik

Dense fog envelopes the air of living at the break of dawn. Reclining to the persistent lathery beneath the quilt with ready to crack knuckles, getting out seems to be like a thought that will never get processed.
...But FOG can only blur your vision not the "Romancing Heart"...dream that took your sleep right on the day break is seeing its existence in the dim barren light of reality.

Someone told:-"Day dreams do come alive". I kind of believed it by now.

Cell phone beeps from aside the pillow: - "Guddyy mrnggsss cheewtuu....get up.....It’s Christmas time.....the hour of romance.... :)"
I couldn’t help myself blushing.
I replied-"plzz sone do mujhe". I know she will never let me do so...for even I was dreaming about it since the past hour.
Just a coincidence: - "THE SAME DREAM HIT UPON HER AS WELL"...Two souls awake when the rest of the world hibernates...
I tossed myself to the other side of the bed only to rest my head on the lap of some unforgettable images of Christmas last year. We shared our first ever kiss on that day.
May be she also couldn’t sleep for the second message I received read as this:-

             “Honey…remember 25th last year…you smooched me in your car…J J…I love it baby…you were smelling superb that day…it turned me on…and the first time you slid your fingers underneath   my skater….ummm….:)…sach me unforgettable…it was 11:37 pm…J J….phir se karoge      nah….:)hmm…??”

I was having butterflies in my stomach at her sweetest remembrance…Freshly ejected oxytocin rushing down my ducts, all I did was to hold my pillow a tad tighter…a tad closer….I wish it was not just a pillow. I read that message ten times in an hour in those moments and the last five words ten times in every minute….!!!
Day light was yet to rest its manes on the musky dew drenched soil, an absolute dimness embraced me. I could hear a few Siberian wings flapping to its edges near the window shield and a few drunk voices (definitely my buddies) singing in chorus the Christmas carols from the adjacent hostel room. I wanted to sleep…but somehow this slightly disturbed silence and the absence of the sunbeams in this smoky horizon couldn’t weave a sleeping charm for me. Her words kept ringing in my head…her images kept flashing before my eyes…and the desire to hold her in my longing arms intensified every alternate second. I kept myself tossing on the bed from one end to the other keeping my thoughts anchored to one firm post-“My Sweetheart” until I could see the western sky lacing itself to stringent sun rays through the heavy mist.

            …Os ki wo bunde jaise tham si gayi ho…sunhere kirno me lipti ye adbhut subha kya mere zindagi me wo haseen shaam phir le layegi…yaa phir pyaas adhuri hi reh jayegi…

I pushed the curtains aside and a chastised morning was beckoning me. The departing whiteness and the bridging saffron in the far west was something very charming. I wish my longing for her departed too, to be bridged by nothing other than her presence. Distance separated both of us from being together…last year this very day she was with me…and this year…I am with my Solitude…and some memories that I will remain affix in some corner of my heart for days to come, someday may arrive when blood will vacate my auricles but her images will always be there. I sat on the verandah of my hostel clasping to cup of coffee seeking warmth and cursing those drunken friends of mine whose all so vulgar singing was spoiling my sensation of the moment. Unlike every day the untidiness of my room didn’t worry me today…I was totally sloshed into every bit of those moments which I was missing to live with her…!!!

Down the memory lanes, 25th December 2011:-
I was studying my class twelfth; my little angel LAVANYA was in eleventh standard. We both shared the same math’s teacher. Once in a week we used to had that class and trust me friends those two hours for me were like a five year old kid left alone in an amusement park. The complexity of the subject and the ease of her charm made every fatigued cell of my body reach new milestones of extensive catabolism. Everything seemed perfect about her and I really sympathize with all the guys who tried their luck. LUCKY ME…!!!
Those ‘undress me’ look in her kohl eyes every time she looked at time, those neatly shaped ‘ready to be smooched’ lips pulled in to be bitten by chiseled incisors inscribing an unforgettably seductive smile on her face every time I played with her curly hairs and her entire silken adobe lying behind those trendy linens were something worth falling for.
P.S:- She was an amazing human being too…!!! Every time she pulled up that “lip bitten smile”, I just ended up loving her a bit more.
Oh…God…!!! I forgot to mention her heavenly cheeks; she would have killed me had I not mentioned her Cheeks. It was my most beloved toy rather it was a platform to display my current mind set. I kissed it whenever I romanced…I pulled it whenever I want her to run after me to get my own cheeks pulled just a little harder than what I implemented, I loved the pain whenever her polished nails dug into my clean shaven cheeks...I cuddled it whenever I am too tired to DO ANYTHING ELSE….
Overall her cheeks were an essential part of my life…J

“Where are you Shona??…I have been waiting for you since tweennnttttyyy minutes at Flury’s…jaldi aao nah…everyone around me is romancing….:( “Lavanya said.

“Coming baby…almost their…Cho solly…traffic….Arrgghh….!!...I am almost their”, I said and hung up. She was happy again, just to hear that I was near…that’s FAITH…and that’s why I love her so much.
It’s Christmas Eve and we promised each other to spend the day together romancing our heart at different places of the city of joy- KOLKATA.

I entered an awesomely decorated Flury’s (one of the finest and classiest confectioners in Kolkata) city’s best hangout for the hearts in love, ready to fall and also the fallen out ones; at the ever glamorous Christmassy decorated Park Street...Beautiful it was when I saw Lavanya from across the street amidst the golden lights of Park Street waiting in Flury’s looking adorable as ever…!!! The store played some amazing Christmas carols in the back drop of couple’s sitting nose dipped in passion to make love. She sat in one corner wearing a white skater teemed with boxed stiletto, the dove shaped pendant dangling down the neck and those left open strands, one of which continuously tickled with her left eye lashes. She was going restless trying to put it behind the ears; it was annoying her, till I stepped up and with my index finger put it behind her ears. She didn’t notice me, she was lost gazing out, hoping to see me.
The inadvertent touch made her senses work back….
“Hey…finally….aa Gaye…kaha the itte der…?” she said with that ‘lip bitten smile’ as I controlled my urge to kiss her.
“Traffic dear…L”, I said imitating her.
She patted my forearm. We kept staring at each other for quiet sometime till the dressed Santa came up to our table, sang a carol, gave each of us candies, whispered in my ears :-“All the best young man” and went away. I sat their fingering my ear as Santa’s moustache gave me a tickle.

“Ye tumhale liye??” she said and handed me a bar of Cadbury Bournville.

“Thenk u” I said as she pinched my nose.

“Let’s go…we will sit in some other places…it’s too crowded here”, I said getting up from the chair.
“Haan haan chalo chalo…badmaash bacche”, she said and once again that lip bitten smile. I took her by her fingers and started fiddling it within my palm.

We reached the parking lot and got inside the car. She fastened her seat belt and said- “Chalo…”
I kept staring at her with a feeble smile. She got my intentions and said:-“Okay only once”
She unlocked her belt and leaned towards me, We locked our lips and I was totally lost in it, her right hand gently rested slightly above my left knee and my left hand was busy caressing her shoulder. Had it not been for the honking Innova we would have continued for some more time. (Thankfully my car had tinted glasses). She moved back, fastened her belt once again and said:-“Now move…”
I set the car into ignition as the Innova honked with a little bit of anger this time, “Abe rukh nah be”. I said quiet unaware that the driver could not by any means listen to me. As the car rolled down the inclination of the third storeyed parking lot, Lavanya turned towards me and said: - “Aaj dopaher me tumne Complan piya tha…??”
I looked up to her and broke into laughter, in the next second she joined me too….!!!
P.S:- She not only had the perfect kissing lips, her smell receptors are genuinely active.

She then turned up the stereo volume to the most romantic number from ‘Naughty Nineties’ in the vocals of Udit Narayan and Alka Yagnik-“Mere Mehboob Mere Sanam….” as I was speeding down the lanes to our first hang out spot “Marco Polo” at Park Street for our dinner.

It was late evening-early night and the city was lit up in bright hues. The streets flooding with enthusiastic people dying to party hard and get drunk to the brim, Couples cueing up at already full restaurants and the tired ‘US’ seeking for a tranquil place to rest for some time. We visited many places today, in fact we didn’t let go any places of visit within the city. WE WERE DEAD TIRED BY NOW.
Waiting for the traffic signal to go green I stretched my left hand to rest on Lavanya’ s shoulder and started to move my fingers, she in turn tilted her head to rest on my arm…that’s TRUST. The feeling and the belief that I will FOREVER be there with her to protect her from this world was dripping from every actions of her. Like birds heading to their nests as the sky loses its genre, I was her nest too, where she feels protected and comfortable.
The signal went green and I had to shift the gear with my right hand because I never wanted to pull my hand away from her on which she was resting. Never for a moment had I wanted to make her feel that I will leave her alone. I was driving and my hand was left firmly tucked between her shoulder and her head. After a long while, she spoke: - “Tum hamesha mere saath rahoge nah??”
I spotted a tear in her eye. I took the left lane and brought the car to a halt with parking lights on.

“Shona, why are you crying??” I said and wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. “I will always be there with you…Hamesha Hamesha ke liye….”

I won her once again. She smiled at me and pinched my nose and like every time when she did so it let my hormones flowing through every possible duct into spaces UNREACHABLE….

“Let’s go to Flury’s itself, it will be less crowded now”, She said. I knew it in my heart, it was not Flury’s that awaited us, it was the parking lot that was screaming to our attention.

“Haan haan…chalo chalo….badmaash bacche….” I said in a sweet way to avenge myself. She only smiled and that same lip bitten smile by now had sent my orgasms skiing.

We reached the parking lot and sat relaxed stretching our limbs within the car.
             ‘It had enough space for us to share our entire heart.’

We got onto the rear seats; I slid the window down by an inch to hand over a hundred rupee note to the security there. The message was loud and clear-“Do not disturb”. He took the note and disappeared.

“So…?” I said and kept gazing at her.
“Come-on don’t be a kid now, Do it fast…it’s already 11:05 by my watch…I promised my mom that I will have dinner together", She spoke in a haste.
I was about to say something, and her cell phone rang. “Oh sit…its Dad….don’t speak a word now…”she warned me. I chose to dumbness.
“Dad, I am on the way home…too much traffic…I will reach home soon…actually my friend wasn’t at home…she came late…and then copied the notes, the Xerox shop was also closed because it’s Christmas”
……..Dad replies something…”……….”
She replies back:-“Okay Okay….” And she hung up.
“So much of lie, just to make love…Oops’s…sorry…’Sex’….” I mocked her.
“Just shut up okay…bade aye satyavaadi banne”.
…..”Hurry up take your clothes off now…” she commanded me and I was left awestruck.
“What……”…….i said as my jaws hit the floor.
“You little kid….” she shrieked and fell upon me. She almost made a deep bite on my neck. She kissed my lips and was running her fingers down my spine. I felt her unhook my denim. I made my hands slip under her skater and the warmth astonished me. This was the first time I was checking a girls asset’s and now I understand why people call it “HOT”.
Within moments my hands reached places from where it was impossible for any male to drag it back. God!!!!!!!… was a sheer pleasure.
I had a little difficulty in unhooking her bra, because I told you- It was my first time. (But, she never had any difficulty in unhooking my jeans….
J J J…). She unhooked it for me; leaving me to cherish the serenity of her so-called ASSETS….it was mind boggling. I understood how important curves are because A GIRL WITHOUT CURVE IS LIKE A JEANS WITHOUT POCKET, YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE TO PUT YOUR HANDS ONTO…..thankfully my jeans carried AMPLE pockets…Lavanya had great curves…..!!!!
She was kissing my neck and I was caressing her bare silken back.
“Do you have a condom??” She whispered in my ears.
“There is a pharmacy downs the lane”, I whispered back.
“Utna time nahi hai….”
“Ouchh….aaram se shona…” perhaps she vented her disappointment on my private parts with a little extra effort because I didn’t carry a condom.

We lay their unmoved in each other’s arms caressing our bare bodies for few moments before dressing back.
She got up and started arranging her hairs; she looked so cute when she did that.

And now we are on our way back home………….!!!!!
“Have a pleasant night sir”, the security said as we left through the exit.
The sarcasm didn’t effect, because I was totally on song at that moment.

The present:-
Suddenly a rampant banging on the door interrupted my train of thoughts. It was those drunken buddies from the other room who had come up to me to wish me ‘Merry Christmas’. I unbolted the door and let them enter: - “Kyu be Saale kiske khayalo me khoya hua tha??” Nitin said; pungent smell of alcohol filled my room as he spoke.

“Nothing…not quite well….so was resting” I planted a fib.
We sat their gossiping for an hour or so after which they left.

My phone rings, it was Lavanya. “Merry Christmas Shona….” She said but I was silent and my eyes gave up. I couldn’t reply, I started to sob violently. I was missing her so much.
Lo kyu rahe ho…..look I am here with you nah….don’t cry honey…please…..or else I will also cry”
…That’s UNDERSTANDING…she knew why I was crying. And I love her because of THE FAITH, THE TRUST and THE UNDERSTANDING.

“Merry Christmas baby….” I finally replied breaking the sobbing silence.
It made her happy.
“So what’s your plan this year…?” I asked.
“Umm…..I am going out with Vivek….He is so sweet…I shall go for a hang out with him….we are meeting after a long time…..”, She spoke out of my belief. I was going nuts in my head.
….I was silent. I had a million questions in my mind. I want to ask all of them at once. All the last year’s images stood whirling around me.
The name shut my senses: - “VIVEK”, “Is she going out with a guy??” I still couldn’t believe what she said and what actually I was asking to myself.

I WAS A DOLT…I misread my sweet heart.

“Am I betrayed??” “Did she cheat on me??”
I want to scream out to her….”WHY ME THEN?????”
I was feeling like a directionless sailor on board…she was saying something on the other side of the phone, but I didn’t pay a heed to it. I didn’t want to…She is a bitch.
She cheated on me.
“Shona are you there??” she asked.
“Just Shut up….how dare you do this to me??...You are a bloody slut…I never knew you can be like this…Just get lost now…leave me alone….” I shouted and hung up.
I sat on the chair and broke into tears. Just few moments back, someone whose memories were making me smile in my solitude has pushed down venom into my arteries.
My phone rang back as I took hold of it banged it on the wall and way goes the battery and the cover.
…I badly wanted to know who Vivek was…and if possible confront him. I really don’t trust myself for if I have had a gun I would have shot myself right now. I never deserved this. I was so decent. I gave up everything for this relationship. I skipped meals in her thoughts and look now all this while she was sleeping around with someone else.
I hate you Lavanya…I really hate you…I never knew you are so cheap.

I left my room and the thrown to parts cell phone in aghast…slammed my door and went out to the hostel dorm.

It was still early morning, quarter to nine. I stood there looking up the sky. Sun was shining brightly.  Fog had left the sky….only to embrace me. I felt like standing on a loose sandy beach that was continuously pulling me down. I had no clue what I had done to deserve something as harsh as this.

“Hey buddy what are you doing here??” Nitin said, noticing me lost in thoughts.
I was numb, only my eyes spoke. They had tears. Nitin took me to his room to comfort me because he knew something was wrong. As soon as I entered his place I found other buddies as well lying in shorts snoring as if never to get up again. They were heavily drunk. Somehow Nitin managed to push them to their respective room just to share some confidential time with me.
A mere attempt to get me out of my suffering..!!!

“I told you buddy girls are not trust worthy…they will hit you in important times……..” he continued as he stooped below and took out a bag placed from beneath his bed.

Yaar….i don’t know what your problem is…but whatever it is I have got a solution….” he said and unzipped the bag.
Two shiny bottles of Koskenkorva (a Vodka brand) craned their neck out of it.
“Look, here is the solution….everyone in this world will betray you someday but SHE will always be there with you…” he took up one bottle and kissed it. He was drinking from last night but was ready to push in a few more shots.

“I don’t drink Nitin” I said.
“Come-on Rohan don’t be a kid…just a few shots…and you will forget all pains….trust me”, he said placing his hand on my left shoulder and held the bottle right in front of my face.

Nitin’s logic didn’t convince me to get out of my ‘non-drinking’ rules but then again…I wanted to get out of this pain as well. I didn’t spoke and my silence meant a ‘yes’ to Nitin’s proposed solution to my problem….rather my PAIN.

He went to prepare the shots as I stood to roam around in his room. All I could see was nude posters of Angelina Jolie and Sunny Leone seducing from those salty walls. They appeared so damp, as if some firefighting engines drained their content on it once every week. I thought my room was the most untidy one but I was wrong. Perhaps I don’t have the definition of what is worst and what is below worst. Really I don’t know whether my condition was worst or below it. Am I yet to see the worst??
I thought I had seen enough, maybe I am wrong.

Nitin reappeared with two filled glasses and held one up to me.
“Here it is my friend…you will feel like heaven after this”, Nitin said somewhat in my favor and somewhat in the favor of the liquor.

I had just taken it to my lips and by then Nitin had finished half of the glass. He was seriously an alcoholic.

Nitin smiled at my all so inexperienced drinking and complimented-“That’s not milk my son…”
I gave him a “Shut up” look and he abided.
The first sip went down my esophagus. It was so harsh…!! I suppose it burnt my entrails.

I finished the glass in the next forty five minutes by which Nitin emptied the entire bottle.
‘Hats off to his boozing skills”, I said to myself and started heading to my own room.
“Leaving buddy??” Nitin asked, almost stammering in the effect of alcohol.
I said ‘Take care’ and left. I wasn’t feeling too good either. I entered my room and collapsed on the bed.
I slept without my notice…My mind rested…Heart didn’t…!!!

I woke to my cold struck dermis only to find myself lying in a pool of puke. Arrgghh…!! It was dreadful. Everything around me was stinking. The clocked showed 11:37 pm…
…and all of a sudden an unusual guilt overpowered me. “Did I overreact??” I questioned to my shut conscience. I didn’t wait for an answer as well for I knew I did. My head was still hurting, I went to pick up my cell phone, I assembled it somehow but my senses were still not in place. Koskenkorva showed good effect even after a sleep of ten hours at a stretch. I wondered whether Nitin was yet alive….!!!

I switched on my phone, I thanked my god, and it still worked. Nokia after all…it can take good amount of poundings….!! And what I saw then only added to my guilt: - ‘87 missed calls Lavanya’…’42 messages’
I couldn’t waste any further time reading those texts that would explain me how much of a dolt I am. I called her up, and she received it probably on the last ring.
I ignored 87 calls; she ignored just 10 rings in support of my stupid outrage. She is so FORGIVING…beside the trust, faith and understanding.

I adhered to my silence as she spoke out, “Shona tum theek ho??....You reacted too much…Vivek is my cousin.”
Her all so polite approach was enough to make me feel how big a dolt I am. The guilt could not overpower my dumbness. I still could not speak up to her.
In this silence I heard her sob on the other side of the phone and now I spoke out: - “Kill me dear…I am so stupid…I didn’t trust you….I am asshole…I don’t deserve you”
“Shut up please”…and now she was vigorously crying. I was crying too….!!!

“I know I am unforgiveable…but please forgive me Shona…I committed a sin…” I pleaded her like a shameless lover.

“I wish I could have held you guilty….you are my sweet heart Rohan”, she said and her decency took all over me.

“Next year we shall be together….pakka….this year Christmas on phone” she said lifting my morals.

“Ha ha…sure….” I laughed.

“Ok….now take off your clothes….i know you don’t have a condom this time too…..” she spoke while laughing.

I broke into laughter…”Love you Lavanya…love you so much…muaaawwwwhhhhhhh…..”

“Love you too honey…………….”

 Author- Sobhan Pramanik

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  1. wow.. It felt great reading this.. Thumps up!

    1. I am glad you enjoyed...:)
      Thank you so much.

  2. The simple and "every common day" feel to the writing is attractive. Keep it up, looking for more from you. Of course.

    1. Thanks for your review...
      ...Looking forward to present more.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. The story makes you feel the rush of emotions experienced by the characters,while never giving the feel of a 'wannabe' sort of a write up. Great originality!

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Lovely one :) hats off to the writer :)

  8. hey gd job Man!!!!!!

  9. Nicely expressed ur feelings.....
    I think u r a medicos.....?

    1. You are kind of bang on...but sorry I am not a medico.
      I am an engineering student...
      I was a medical aspirant in the past...

      Thank you for the review...:)

  10. Awww...that was such a sweet romantic read Sobhan..
    You've got this power to get your readers totally absorbed in your work.
    Keep it up!!
    Waiting for more posts from you

    1. Thank you for the review Harshita...:)

  11. wowwyyy... ur words wr so real sobhan, i ws able to imagine each n evry moment of ur story.... superbly done!!
    keep it up buddy :)

  12. Sobhan you have beautifully transformed words into expressions and feelings.....Discovering you now is like making me yearn to go back nad meet you once again.....Very soon..sometime..God bless...keep writing....

    1. Thanks a lot dear...:)
      Coming across gave me a reason to be cheerful once again...!!

  13. Post writing is also a fun, if you know afterward you can write if not it is difficult
    to write.

    Have a look at my page: Abercrombie Et Fitch


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