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Thursday, 28 March 2013

Never Together....Never Apart... Part-3

“Every person has a beautiful heart hidden inside their hard shell of strength… to see that heart, you must to get through the outer shell and reach his/her heart. Until then, don’t judge anyone”
Samar was not as cruel as I thought him to be. That day he proved that he had a soft heart, a heart that cares and a heart that feels. Since that day, I used to smile at him every time we bounced upon each other in the class or lobby or the canteen. However, that cruel idiot never reciprocated a smile as if his smile was the precious thing on this earth. He still used to fight with me but until then, I somehow started loving the sweet and sour relationship we shared. 

We started growing up and I never gave up on my smile, with a hope that he will smile at me sometime, some day, somewhere. 

Two years passed by, I still remember, it was the last examination of boards when I unknowingly broke into tears in front of hundreds of students who were happy to cross through an important phase of their life. Till the date I could not know for what reason I cried that day, may be at some corner of my heart I knew, Samar was not going to be in my life anymore. Well, he was never in my life practically but in these two years, I turned addicted to him, to see him, to fight with him, to smile at him on every single day. I went school just to have a look of him.

My friends laughed at me on seeing me cry, obviously, they did not know the reason behind my tears, and neither had I bothered them to tell. Samar walked up to me and handed his handkerchief saying “Don’t worry, you will clear the boards”. I smiled within myself and thought what must have made him say it? Then the bell inside my head rang and I thought about my previous results, which were horrendously awful. I smiled at him and said “Thank you Samar, Good luck for the future”. This time that idiot smiled at me and bid me good-bye without uttering a word.

I thought, sitting beside the bank of river
the journey of water, the flow’s endeavor,

Sides of River are Never together never apart,
It’s definitely an end, still a new chapter to start.

I pushed a paper boat on the water floor,
It floated from one corner to the other, to make them meet & explore.

I knew somehow they will meet under the shadow of moon,
Call it our destiny, but we will meet soon.

As expected, he chose to be a doctor. He shifted to another school for his further study with science as his stream. Moreover, I, I somehow managed to clear my boards and pursued commerce. I never saw him again after the last exam day but he never left my mind. He was a mystery I could not solve, I had never met someone like him in my life, the enigma he carried with himself made me crazy every passing second.
A year passed by and we never met each other, never talked to each other, not even accidentally or by destiny. Then came a savior to my curiosity, Facebook. I was new to it; Facebook was not an addiction in its beginning days as it is now but my reason to join it was none other than Samar. I was at Sakshi’s place that after noon when she motivated me to send him a friend request. His account was in front of my eyes, the cursor was over the Add Friend button, but my fingers did not have the guts to animate. There are situations when you are mentally oscillating between few things, whether you should do it or should not do it, I was going through one such situation.

Sakshi pushed my finger down and BAM! The friend request notification popped on the screen. Within next thirty seconds, a request accepted notification made my day. I was jumping and hopping on the bed like monkeys, yeah I know that’s stupid but I was a little heart then who was unaware of the real emotions of this world. Then as expected, we began talking. Every evening we waited for each other to turn online so that we can give an end to our day by talking to each other.

Time flew by and I never realized how important he was turning into my life. I could yet not solve him, one moment he was funny, making me smile, and at another moment he would be as grave as a living dead would. He made me fall for him. When the thought triggered my heart that I was falling in love, I pushed myself back because I knew we could never ever be together. I belonged from a conservative family and love marriage was a strict no-no for me. Well, that was something for the later part, but I did not agree to my heart when it said that Samar was the reason for its beats.
Your mind and heart never agree to some point, and we were experiencing it. Somewhere, I felt as if even he was getting addicted to me. From Facebook, we moved to cell phones. We never had guts to call each other but every second of the day we text each other.  

Apparently, Sumer was transform into a lovey-dovey friend. I never wished to wake up without his good morning texts. It became a routine to sleep until he sends the text. His texts were a treat to read:
“Sun squeezes its brightness just for you. Moon gives you a different shade every night to love….to live a new life… It will be new. It will be a nicest day of your life. GM”

All I needed was someone who could listen to me. He was becoming that someone. He was there with me talking on the phone in my sleepless nights. I never asked him to stay awake and listen to me, nor did he ever try to disconnect the calls. He wiped my tears silently; He taught me ‘What is real Happiness’. He gave me moments to cherish.

Care is pure when it is unsaid. He never said he cared for me. However, I could feel the tonic of Care injected by him in my life.

You gave me hopes, you gave me a new life to live
More than what will I live, or what I already lived.


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For those who missed the Part -1Never Together... Never Apart... PART-1

Dristhi Dasgupta (Blogger at Because you'are- One of a Kind)

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