Recent Posts

Just Saying

Just Saying

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Shaurya Forever... A Real Story. Part-15

Saloni Speaks

Sab jaldi chalo, Cheeku ki death hogyi hai” Papa said. This was probably the first sentence I heard that day, Saturday, 4 January, 1:50a.m. For a moment I experienced the fear, the possibilities that it could be a lie, the agony and quickly everything broke down in tears, including me. I was completely shattered and so was the every other part of our family. I stood there for few moments and then leaving everything, I just rushed to the hospital.

In those moments I missed Sahil for the first time, he was in Jaipur and was so close to Cheeku. On entire drive, there was silence and only noise of sobs, this time I did not insist dad to change or turn up songs. Finally 'fortis' came, the place where my brother took his last breath, the place where his body gave up, he did not; he is not a ‘QUITTER’!

Fear to see everyone crying, fear to see him for the last time was increasing after every step of coming closer to the gate. Nanu was there, outside, was the first person I saw.

Papa said “Cheeku?” and in the most painful voice Nanu said “Cheeku, vo to khatam hogaya.” I wish I was living in an illusion, all those prayers every day, those chants, and everything went into ruins. Manish maamu was too numb.
 I rushed up to see everyone else. I saw Mancha. I wanted someone to hug me. I ran to him and we hugged, cried, and shared our sorrows. For the first time ever in my life, I saw him crying. He was in pain! 'Ab mujhe manu aunty kon bulayega' was his only sentence... and this time I had no answer; no damn answer. I hugged him for some more time.

I looked for others. I couldn't face Maami at all. When everyone was crying she was not, she was silent and numb. I saw Sid, broken and shattered completely.
It was time to take Shaurya back home for the last time. In his last days, he said that "Mom, I don’t think that I will be coming back home.” He lied. He was coming back home, for sure.

We were sitting there to take him back home, for the last time! Formalities had to be done, therefore only a few stayed in the hospital! Then came another fear, Facing Sanya di.

 She was home alone. My heart was sinking, as I was not allowed to tell her that Cheeku is no more and she kept sending me messages when I was in the hospital. “Saloni don’t worry, keep chanting, subah tak asar krengi medicines” She was too angry from god, yet hopeful. Finally, I reached home, A-3/10, Cheeku's birth place. I could not believe it was the same place that was once decorated with lights and colored materials/sheets had a big white sheet now.

Within a year, our family's happiness had ended now. In the worst of our nightmares, we could have not thought of Cheeku’s demise. Somebody who has been so lively, funny, and strong left us forever.

'Teri height kitni chotti h yaar Sanya' 'Chalo photos kheeche' 'Chalo ye kre , chalo vo kre' were the sentences Sanya di and I kept recalling in his room , bar area! Every moment was just flashing back at that moment. It was peace. I slept waiting for his body to arrive. For the first time ever in my life I woke up with so much of negativity at Nani's place. It was the same place where we all once could hear his amazing voice. He used to make us all smile with his presence and now he had left same people crying for him.

At 11 his body arrived and the sound of sobs became louder and worse. In the living room where a year back we used to practice for Mancha's Sagan dance now had this 6 feet few inches man lying on the floor, covered with a white sheet, with people around crying. I was sitting near his hand, the hand he held on all our trips when we went to Amritsar so that he could take care of me, the same hand on which I along with Sanya di always tied the Rakhi on, that hand could not move now at all. That hand now failed to react, failed to feel any sort of emotion.

Finally his face was shown, Maami was just kissing him everywhere and everyone else was crying to see him in the worst, swelled body, face; trodden lips, blood filled eyes with tapes on it, cuts on face. Bandages all over face, marks on head and what not. Was he too bad? Why he had to go through all of this?

Maami was begging to him, to come back , but he didn't reply. He was lost in his new World. World where my Brother would no longer Suffer!

 Tears could not stop at all. Sahil was finally informed, and his trip didn't matter him anymore.

At 3 pm Shaurya was taken to the cremation ground, burnt, forever. That was the worst sight I saw in my whole existence. He was on the ground for the last time so that everyone could bid him a last GOODBYE and finally he was put on bed of woods to be burnt.

At those moments, I wanted to jump into that fire and bring him back, else die right there with my Brother!

But I could not, I had to live, I had to breathe. Breathe for his Happiness!
 We were back home when he was turned into ashes. Tears were still there on eyes. Tears that would last forever. Till the time he would return back to us in any form.

 After a long and dead day, it was 9 pm when everyone slept, except for Sanya di and me. We read condolences given by everyone, consoling Sahil, the strong Sahil who texted 'yeh kya ho gaya h yaar' Then, we talked till the next day till 3 or 4 in the morning, sharing our sorrows, crying, laughing at the jokes Cheeku cracked always by imitating them and finally slept.

 Moreover, for me life had a full stop from the day, an end. Losing myself in all those moments, I lost faith in God too, forever!

I had no idea how the next chapters of our lives would be and how things will turn up .

 But one thing was for sure it will not be easy, it will be like going through a pain every day. A pain that had no medicine, no cure and no solution.

 With him, he took all the Good things, all the love.. leaving behind just his MEMORIES! And perhaps one question in all our minds

 How will it be, How will be LIFE WITHOUT SHAURYA?

"Takdeer ko apni badal kar tujhe wapas  Seene se apne laga lungi..
Tere muh se 'MAA' sunne ke liye Mein Aaj uss KHUDA se bhi ladd lungi"


And He Stays... even after the end.

Team Purple Pen
(c) Purple Pen Blogs


  1. Shaurya was a strong guy and iam so in love with the kind of person he was ...a brave son, an understanding lover , amazing friend , responsible brother ..... no weeping no crying as he will always remain alive in the memories of his dear ones their talks their dreams ....he never died he still is alive in the smiles of the people who love him .....if they smile ....he will definitely smile <3 <3 <3


Designed By Blogger Templates