Love only begins, never ends… by Raj Jayswal

‘So tell me the story’ I said.

‘Which story ?’, Manav uncle said.

Manav uncle lives in my neighbour-hood. He must be around 70. Very friendly, so I keep visiting him when I get time.

‘Your story’

‘There is no story.’ he said

‘You promised to tell me.’

He had promised to tell me his love story and now he was delaying it as much as possible.

‘…and promises are meant to be kept’. I added.

‘Okay’ he finally said.

‘I want with every detail’.

Both of us settled on sofas and he narrated.

‘It was 1971…’

‘arrey I want the story not when you were born’ I butted-in.

‘Will you shut up? And listen’

‘Okay sorry, continue’

‘So, it was 1971, I was in my last year of college and so was she. Rachna. She lived near my home only. We were in same college. I had a big crush on her, but always feared to tell her. This was my last year so I have to tell her anyhow. My last chance. I tried to talk to her to get close with her. Slowly, gradually we became friends. Few months passed and I couldn’t control it more. I have to tell her…at any cost.

‘Do you think she loved you then?’ I asked.

‘I think so’

‘Ok then what happened next’

‘I waited for the right time to propose her. It was middle of July, so it was heavily raining that evening. I reached bus-stop to catch my regular bus to home. I was completely drenched in water. She was also there waiting for the bus. A bus arrived and all the people jumped on it. It was not my regular bus, so I stayed behind. Everybody left only me and she were left alone’

‘Ohho, kya baat hai!!’ I again butted-in.

‘Shut up, nothing happened like what you are thinking’

‘Ya I know, then what?’

He continued.

‘Hi’ I said to her.

‘Hi’ she said with a smile.

I knew this was a perfect time to tell her. I wanted to say I love you instead I said ‘It’s a beautiful evening, isn’t it?’

‘hmm..ya’ she replied.

‘Shit do something say it to her idiot’ I told myself.

She was starring at the empty road ahead.

‘What happened?’ I asked.

‘Nothing, I thought you are here to say something to me’ she said and looked in my eyes.

She knows. Shit shit shit…I hate this, when you try to tell something special to someone and Boom! they already know it…this just makes you more nervous.

‘hm..I..I wanted..to tell you…’ I was trying to say it.

‘Tell me what?’ she asked still looking in my eyes.

‘Do it..now or never’ My inner genius said.

‘Rachna, I love you, do you love me?’

‘It took you so long to tell me these words?’ she demanded.

‘This isn’t the answer I was looking for’

‘Sorry, love you too Manav’ she said it finally.

And then she hugged me.

We both were smiling at each other. I loved that moment. We waited for the bus, after few minutes it arrived. We both sat together. I hold her hand and again said

‘I love you’

‘I love you too’ she said and rested her head on my shoulder.

‘Wow!! that was beautiful’ I said.

‘yeah it was’ he said with a big smile.

‘ok continue the story’ I said.

‘then we started spending time together as much as possible. We bunked classes, went to watch movies, used to spend time together. Few months later our college ended and we thought to tell our parents about us. I kept her photo in one of my book, so when mom cleans the shelf, she will see it. And it happened.

‘who is this girl?’ she asked.

‘who?’ I said faking as I didn’t knew.

‘This girl whose photo is in your book’ she said showing me the photo.

‘Mom…she is my friend’

‘Friend? Manav listen I don’t know what are you up to but tell me who is she’ she said and sat on bed.

‘Mom..she is my girlfriend and we both want to get…’

‘Your dad is never going to approve this’ she said and got up from bed.

‘Mom please I love her. I want to marry her only. We can convince dad. Isn’t she so beautiful?’

‘What’s her name?’ she asked cooling down.

‘Rachna’ I said suppressing my excitement.

‘hmm…and ya she is beautiful’

‘Is that a yes from you?’

‘ya but we will talk with your dad about this later’

‘yes, thank you mom’ I said and hugged her.

But situation at her house was different. She said that her dad got very angry when she told about me. He said to stay away from me. He warned to keep any contact with me. She started crying. I made her stop crying and said we will give your family some time to understand us.

‘I promise I will always be with you’ she said.

I smiled and hugged her.

Days passed and staying away from her started killing more and more. One month passed and still nothing was solved. But one day a letter arrived at my home. It was from her.

It said that her dad is fixing her marriage with some other guy and he is coming to see her today. She said she is very sorry that she couldn’t keep her promise and she will always love me’

‘What? This can’t happen’ I said.

‘This is what happened’ he replied.

‘Then what? You left her?’ I asked.

‘No, I tore the letter and just ran to her home. I reached there. She was there and her whole family. Her eyes widened as she saw me. She got scared.

‘Who are you?’ her dad asked.

‘I am Manav’

‘ohh you, how dare you to come here’ he got angry.

‘Sir, please I just need a few minutes with Rachna.’

Before he could say anything I hold her hand and I bent on my knees.

‘Don’t you love me? Just for a moment in your life didn’t you loved me? Just say it don’t fear from your dad’ I said.

She looked scared. She didn’t say anything. Just stood there.

‘I really love you Manav’ as she said this tears rolled from her eyes.

I got up and turned to her dad.

‘Sir, isn’t it enough for me to love your daughter? Isn’t it a enough reason to get married?’I very calmly said.

‘Dad, I really love him. I will be really happy with him’ she said.

Her dad didn’t said anything and he sat on sofa.

‘Dad please say something’

‘I am sorry. I thought he is just some other boy who will….’ He didn’t complete the sentence.

‘Sir, I assure you I will always be with your daughter to love her, to protect her, to make her happy’ I said.

‘Dad please’

‘I am glad that my daughter has found such a good person. My blessings are with both of you’ he said with a smile.

‘Yes, that is what I wanted to hear, so then what?’ I asked.

‘After a few months we got married. She kept her promise’ He said with a big smile.

‘Will you stop irritating Raj with that story’ she said.

‘It’s a lovely story, I wanted to hear that’ I said defending him.

‘You look beautiful’ he said.

‘I am old now, Raj you tell me do I look beautiful?’ she asked.

I looked at her and then at him.

‘Yes, you are beautiful’

‘See everybody knows you are beautiful’ he said.

‘okay, now stop it’ she said.

‘I won’t’

‘Fine then don’t talk with me’ she said looking away with fake anger on her face.

‘Ok ok don’t fight now’ I butted-in to stop them.

‘Raj now you should go home, it’s late’ she said.

‘Okay bye then’

Before I left I looked back at them, they were looking at each other smiling, not even a blink, eyes says a lot and their happiness could be seen.

‘I love you’ he said.

‘I love you too’

Somebody truly said, Love only begins, never ends…

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Without her..... by Raj Jayswal

Living without her is so tough. I somehow manage to pass the days but nights become more tough to pass without her. Sometimes I think to myself that am I that much good to get such a loving person like her? I never thought that someone would love me so much. Without her my life has no meaning. It’s like living dead. She fills all the colours to my life. When I wake up in morning I want to see her face, I want to feel it. When I go for sleep I want see her. I want her in every moment of my life.

Without her it feels like I have lost something very important. It feels that something is missing in me. Something, without that I can’t live. It’s been almost four months since I met her or properly talked. I know she also would be feeling the same. Day by day this feeling increases. It’s like someone has stabbed a dagger into my chest and I can’t do anything about it. Its pain keeps on increasing. It’s the most horrible feeling. Hope she is doing good and she is not crying at nights. It really hurts just to think about that.

I am standing in my balcony watching the silent sky and the moon. It just reminds me of her. Cold winds are blowing and I am feeling so lonely. I wish I could have her by my side, holding each others hands. I am thinking what she must be doing right now. She must be studying or must be reading a novel, if she got any. Or maybe missing me, I hope she is not. If she would be here she would have said that I know her really well and she would have hugged me. I smiled at that thought.

I looked at her pic in my mobile. I moved my fingers on her beautiful face. I closed my eyes and saw her, tears rolled down from my eyes. I suddenly felt someone’s hand on my arm. I opened my eyes, it was she. It was like the world standing in front of me. She wiped my tears. In this dim moon light still her face seemed beautiful. Her hair were blowing in the air, few strands of her hair fell on her face and she moved them behind her right ear very shyly. I love when she does that.

I kept on staring at her. I hold her hands and I looked into her eyes and she in mine. No one said a word, we were just looking in each others eyes. Silence said it all. We were not speaking but her eyes said a lot. I came closer to her and she came more closer to me. We both were really happy to see each other. She knew what I wanted. I smiled at her and she smiled back. It was the beautiful moment. She hugged me.

‘I love you’, she said.

‘I love you too’, I replied.



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Finally meeting her..... by Raj Jayswal

3 May’12

I leaved the house to meet her, but still wasn’t believing that finally I will be able to meet her. She had tried a lot to meet me, but failed. First time she got late from school, so couldn’t come. Then her mom was at home, so she can’t come out. And then her dad saw her getting out, thank god he didn’t saw us together. But no complains, I was going to

meet her now.

I again saw her message, which she sent just 10 minutes back. It said ‘come at the place in 10 minutes’. I read it twice this time. I was seeing that msg for at least 10th time in last five minutes. I reached at the place. There were auto-rickshaws parked there. I got ahead of those rickshaws, so that nobody could see us. I dunno why but I was checking my watch every 2 minutes. I was walking here and there like a idiot. I was thinking about the promise I had made to her…I promised her that I will hug her this time when we meet.

I know it’s not a big deal to hug someone. But I am not a big stud and this is my first and last relationship with a girl. So I was nervous as hell and was shitting in my pants. I was thinking how would I do that. I told myself that I can do this. But I was getting more nervous. I took a deep breathe and told I can do this…again and again. I was getting more confident and normal and suddenly I heard my name being called out. I turned and there was she.

A beautiful puppy face, eyes of a newly born child, cute nose, sweet pinkish lips, blackish-brown hair. She is just like a Rasgulla, full of sweetness…just that she is more sweeter. She wore purple t-shirt and blue jeans. She looked really beautiful. I wished I could held her in my arms and never let her go.

As I saw her my pulse rate became faster and again I got nervous. I went blank. I somehow started talking to her. As we were talking in back of my mind I was thinking about the hug. How will I do that? And suddenly we both fell silent. I wanted to speak but words didn’t escape my mouth.

She started staring at me right into my eyes. She was staring in such a different way. I looked back in those eyes. I knew why she was looking like that. But that look of her, the way she looked I can’t forget those eyes. As if she wanted something from me and she was badly in need of that…just like a cancer patient who needs life.

I couldn’t hold on to look in her eyes, I dropped the eye contact. I was feeling a little uncomfortable. I saw from corner of my eyes that she was still looking at me. Her eyes asking for my promise.

I looked back at her, I dunno what happened to me I just move forward and hugged her. And that moment I couldn’t believe I was doing that. I could smell her sweet fragrance, her hair blowing on my face. Those few moments were so magical. After some time we parted. She waved me goodbye and left. I looked at her till she was out of view. After she left I stood there for few minutes, still wasn’t believing that I really hugged her.

As I turned to leave I saw a rickshaw wala was looking at me. I was damn sure he saw everything that we did. We didn’t even notice him all the while. We were just so lost in each other. He was looking as if I had just kissed her in public. I gave him a big smile in return of his arrogant look.

At home also I was smiling like a maniac. That day mom asked me many times why I am smiling so much…everytime I said nothing and would go to other room. That day was most memorable day of my life. Later I said about my constant smiling to her. She said that she was no different.

Now also when I think of those beautiful moments…I can still feel her in my arms. I can still feel her touch…it was just amazing and beautiful. Moments like this makes life worth living….

Love you Miss. Impatient…<3

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LOVE is just another word from your dictionary - Raj Jayswal

LOVE is just another word from your dictionary until someone comes to your life and gives real meaning to it. Being in love is just so magical. You feel like Superman flying in a different world. Everything around you becomes beautiful, wonderful and magical.

It makes me happy by just thinking that there is someone who really cares about me and loves me so much. The way they make you feel, it makes you a special person for them. When you see their name flashing on your mobile screen it makes you happier and makes your heart pump faster, both at the same time.

Just a cute conversation makes your day. After the conversation a innocent, beautiful and stupid smile does not let you sleep. When you meet them the glitter in their eyes and an effortless, beautiful smile tells you everything.

Love is the most beautiful feeling a person can feel.

At nights you can’t stop thinking of them. Doing nothing and writing their name & smiling just thinking of them.When they give you cute nicknames. When you think they are the most beautiful person on earth.

Love is just a small word to describe huge feelings of your heart.

A simple hug does not let your lips stop smiling…and your mom finds something fishy in tat and she can’t stop asking ‘What’s wrong with you ?’. When you can’t wait to talk to them. They are by your side in bad times and in good. When you pass by their friends and you hear words like ‘jiju’ or ‘bhabhi’ that makes you smile.

Meaning of love for me is just her. Nobody can take place of her in my heart.

Someone would say that…Love is all over my mind or she is all over my heart….

It was just another night and it was raining here. I was badly missing her...i knew she would also be missing me a lot. I just wished she could be with me at that time. I just wished I could hold her in my arms. This was what I felt at that time….

 kash tu sath hoti toh thoda ji leta,

 koi baat na sahi toh tujhe dekhke ji bhar leta.

 aaksar tadpati hai mujhe teri bate,

 aaksar yaad aati hai teri yadeein

 in hasin lamho mein

 in dukh bhari yaado mein

 kash tu sath hoti toh thoda ji leta,

 koi baat na sahi toh tujhe dekhke ji bhar leta.

 tere bina har pal aadhura hai,

tu sath nahi toh ye dil rutha sa hai.

in tanha rato mein mere sath aur koi na sahi

kash tu sath hoti toh thoda ji leta,

koi baat na sahi toh tujhe dekhke ji bhar leta.

in barsati rato mein har pal teri yaad satati hai

har pal har lamha na jane kyu

mere dil ki yahi khvaish hai

kash tu sath hoti toh thoda ji leta
koi baat na sahi toh tujhe dekhke ji bhar leta……

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