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Just Saying

Monday, 17 September 2012

16 September, Last Page of my diary. Himanshu Chhabra


16 September,2012. So, another slothy day of my life passed away. It’s actually sad that I always look towards my past. Though future is uncertain but still there is a future waiting to happen.
                I may pretend that it’s all fine, but it’s not. I am beseeching her everywhere around me. In the Blue teddy, in the wrist watch, in the very little thing she presented me. I don’t try to open my drawer now. Let the flowers become dull and vanish someday.
                I am not searching something, but actually I am just getting the touch of memories. They are back with every blink of my pair of eyes. And the good part is- I stopped crying. Yes I stopped it. You wanted me to be stronger. Here I am , a modified Himanshu, hugging the changes, which are ruining the originality of mine but still they are helping me in ending my life with an ease.
                You deducted me, taking my heart away. I am not complaining. I am just telling you the trauma of the vacant place inside my chest. The abundant place requires a heart now. My mind is suggesting to fall in love with some other girl. I did. I took her heart, but in return I wasn’t able to give her anything.
                She showered her love on my crispy wounds. I didn’t even noticed. Now I had a heart fixed in my chest. I had the medicine. They say “A girl can take away your last girl’s pain” I followed the thoughts of – anonymous but you were wrong. That’s why you didn’t mentioned your name. you coward.
                Now she had that vacant place. She loved me and I loved a shadow around me. The shadow which changes its color at nights and make me cry, sitting in the corner of my dark room.
                The shadow harsh me every night. Why you didn’t took it away with you. I am worried for the girl who fell in love with me. How can I love her back? She definitely deserve my love. Give me my heart back . I want to give it to her (the new girl). The play ends, time to return the toy. Toy called My Heart. It’s damaged, not in the position to give away to someone else, but I passed it to the new girl.
                She fixed the broken parts, repaired the damaged ones. Her hands were bleeding, her eyes were shedding tears, but she was building a steady and certain future for us. she is innocent, may be irritating sometimes but may be mine….
                Last quotes dedicated to you.
I am worried….
someone inside me is dripping something….
inside there, there is a fight….
fight of truth and lie.
And so the fight is over again.
Again I am telling myself that I am happy.
Yes, it’s the lie which won again
Himanshu Chhabra


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8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. It's the lie which won again... loved that...

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  3. I liked ! :)
    The situation of the guy is expressed in a good way with proper vocabulary !
    This is it ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. good one...it was gud to see d feelings from a guyy's end

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