Purple Pen: I'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER YOU.... By Kamya Yadav

RAIN that is what she referred him. Always been obsessed of the monsoons, she loved it like anything. Sizzling on the dance number ‘tip tip barsa paani’ during a heavy midnight rain over the terrace roof, was always on her list. Of Course, the yellow sari replaced with a purple one. And he never missed teasing her “MOTTIE “, not that she was fat or something but because she used to become a little uneasy whenever Rain termed her as hottie ,so to add up to her uneasiness he started referring her Mottie.... Rain (22) and Mottie(21) are great buddies and know each other since almost one year.

Mottie: Hi Rain… how have you been? Long time huh!

Rain: Girl, you are impossible. After being underground for almost more than two weeks, neglecting all my phone calls, not replying to any of the texts , making me feel atrocious like hell and then finally one fine evening inviting me to Marine Drive and greeting with such a charm as if I am your long lost Shah Rukh Khan.

Mottie: I know I’ve been behaving a little strange for a while but I can explain.... can we talk?

Rain: "a little"? …. Anyways, speak out fast got a date with this blonde chick. You remember my friend in Goa? He came along with his girlfriend just two days back and his girlfriend’s blonde friend is quite a talent, I must say…

Mottie: Oh, boy you always do this crap. Why you did not inform me about the date when I called you up? I would have called you some other day then. Don’t you think that you behave lame sometimes?

Rain: Why are you so bothered? I guess it becomes very important for you to put me down me rather than focusing on your own problems.

Mottie: Enough! You may leave and my apologies that I asked you to come. Please rush before it gets late.

Mottie: What? That chick must be waiting right? You can leave I said. Now what are you waiting for?

Rain: YOU…………!!!!!!!!!!

Mottie: mmmm ?????????????..............!!!!!!!!!!

Rain: I mean, you tell me I am listening and I am sorry..

(Silly brat, you’ll never know. The moment I got the call from you, I cancelled the date.. Yeah it was a bit hard but I would choose this cute nerd over some blonde chick, any time any day)

Mottie: I am not working anymore. Boss sacked me out.

Rain: I know. I had called up your mom just to confirm whether you still exist or no. Aunty informed that you had a tiff with your boss and since then all you have been doing is sleeping like log and eating like an elephant. And it is quite visible as well. You have put on weight.

Mottie: Ohh mummy bhi na .I tell you, she adores you. Says that all my life I had a very few astute and resourceful friends and you are one of them…

Rain: Awww I am delighted. So tell me what is bugging you. You are jobless or you didn’t expect all this to happen or just that you could not win over the tiff with your boss? What is it?

Mottie: You know it is like I am tired of all these gloomy things happening around. I always feel like being trapped by others decisions. I really miss being myself.

Rain: Go ahead, I’m listening…..(and observing how cute you look even when you’re doleful.. and that little mole at the right side of your nose, I always had a feeling that it belongs to me…alright I should better listen)

Mottie: Mom & Dad, they are great I love them and they love me even more. Pampered me all my childhood and they still do but at the end all they want from me is to do higher studies then get into some high profile corporate job and then finally get settle down with some MBA or an Engineering geek… I tried my best to make them understand that this not what I want my life to be but nothing in nature could be of help. Then there are friends or so called friends I don’t know exactly. I had not been that lucky in terms of making reliable friends (except you of course).

Life is perfect, first-rate and pre-eminent when you have friends around you but only till the time you‘re splendidly happy. However, when life pushes you into dismal, all you get to hear is ‘chal yaar aisa hote reheta hai’ ‘let’s party and you will be over with this crap’. Then what, life keeps moving but deep inside in your heart you are still there holding your tears waiting for nothing but just a shoulder, so that you can cry your eyeballs out but unfortunately, you end up crying all alone. Honestly speaking, I feel like shit sometimes.

Rain: That’s it? Is this the actual thing, which is bugging you so much? I mean, whether it is family friends or whatever, everything has a dark side. It totally depends up to you how do you choose to face it. Parents obviously want the best for their kids and your parents are no different. Sometimes we just do not see the love and concern behind their restrictions and expectations. So just, relax and stop cribbing about it that no one is concerned about you and your feelings. It is just that you need to look at things in a completely positive manner.

Tell me what happened with the job thing, how did you end up screwing it?

Mottie: There were some issues between my team leader and me. This was been reported to our manager, which I believe was exaggerated. My boss stated that I do not listen to my team leader and that I always want to do my own thing. Without asking for my consent, he termed me as a rebel, stubborn and a bit adamant. So I just repelled back. And decide to quit before it gets uglier.

Rain: Well I know you’re kind of freak and it’s a little tricky to deal with you sometimes and that’s cool in its own way but yes at the same time I won’t encourage you saying like yeah you did the right thing because that will turn you astray. It is simple no need to compromise but that does not mean that you end up fighting. I will not ask you to go back but I would appreciate if you apologies. Moreover, yes no doubts you are a rebel, stubborn and adamant as well (and I love that shit about you)

Mottie: Yeah I guess you are correct. I will see to it. And what in the world makes you think that I am stubborn or adamant?

Rain: Yes, you are .I have my facts to prove it.

Mottie: Bring it on.

Rain : It’s been almost one year and you never even let me hold your hands. That’s enough to prove how stubborn you are. Well I know you are straight but hey wait a minute, once I asked you which celebrity turns you on, I was expecting Shah Rukh Khan or Hugh Grant but you said Kareena Kapoor. Now that’s fishy.

Mottie: Shut up really not funny okay. And why the hell should I let you hold my hands when we are nothing but just good friends.

Rain: (“we are just goods” that’s the meanest sentence a girl could ever say to a guy. can anyone jus fuck this “JUST GOOD FRIENDS” thing on my behalf. There should be a law that no guy and girl should be just goods friends either they are friends or a couple. This’ just good friends’ phase is highly traumatizing. I protest, girls like Mottie, should be charged 75 bucks daily as a penalty for treating an eligible guy like me as “just a good friend”.. Only then, she will realize how much it hurts)

Mottie: But hey thanks for being a darling friend. I was always a bit conservative. I could never imagine ,not in my craziest dreams that I would hang around with a guy being so negligent and careless. Those crazy night outs, freaky bike rides, boozing like retards, hogging over hot paranthas and paneer tikka on a road side dhabba. Seriously it’s hell lot of fun with you. It’s a different aura when I am with you, I was never so much at ease with any other guy and touchwood I never regret being friends with you. Yeah you are snappy, always taking up my case also highly sarcastic sometimes but even these things make smile like mad. And heyy, do you remember? This is the place where we met for the first time, I am pretty sure you don’t.

Rain : Oh is it ? Let me just recollect. Oh yes its exact here where we met for the first time. Here’s your 50 paise for the remembering the awful event.

(Oh girl how can I forget that enchanted day of my life.14 July ,2011, 7.35 pm. A long sleeveless top, dark purple in colour, black jeans black chappals, golden titan watch on the left hand. Absolutely no makeup just a thick layer of kohl over those tiny enigmatic eyes. Half tied hairs ,straight but bouncy on the ends and those flicks falling over your face as if wanted to give a peck on your cheeks and so did I .For the first time I was encountering simplicity at its best.)

Rain: Hey Mottie, I know you will never answer this but can’t stop myself asking. You really think that we are just good friends? I would appreciate an honest reply. Look at me, in my eyes and now tell me.

Mottie: ( No, I can’t that’s one thing I had been avoiding, your eyes. I have no clue what other girls find attractive about you. Maybe the bad boy tag or the fit toned abs could be the insane 6’1 height. Or the unbeatable charm that you posses or simply just the careless attitude but I always find myself helpless to those highly enraptured eyes. It always displays a sense of assurance. For a moment, I can doubt your words but never your eyes. If anything in this world, that can take charge over me completely is my mom’s emotional drama and of course those eyes. I’m not sure whether I got a thing for you or no, but for your eyes I definitely have)

Rain: You wonder girl lost again. I know these things make you uneasy. Sorry I won’t bring it up again. Chill.

Mottie: Actually, the thing is deep inside my heart I’m still shaken about what all happened in the past. I had been into that eccentric situation called relationship just once and that was quite enough to put my life into distress. After putting in all my sincerity, selfless efforts and immense love, all I get in return is cheating, betrayal, soreness and loads and loads of tears. Yes I’ve moved on , I smile, I laugh and try staying positive .But I would be lying if I say that I am completely over with it because the scares are still there. Yes, I still try to find out why did he happened to be so cruel ,what exactly went wrong in my efforts, why did he left me all alone when I needed him the most..

Rain: (NO, NO, NO please don’t cry. please don’t shed those tears for some bustard. Girl I can survive a tsunami but seeing you weeping like this is a real disaster in my heart)

Mottie: But then, there are you. Well practically, I don’t know much about you. All I know is that you belong to a good family and recently done with your MBA. But, I very well know, no matter how careless you appear but from within you are liable man who knows his responsibilities towards family, friends (and me).

You often say ‘chal nikal yahan se’ but you never let me walk home alone. You keep blabbering ‘kitna pakati hai‘but curious to listen and always hear me patiently. You are the first person on this planet who never had any complains, no demands no conditions maybe that’s why I am so attached to you….. You never say it but I know, deep inside even your heart is wounded, you had also been through the same pain and that’s the reason without me explaining, you understand my sorrow more than anybody else, just by reading my mind. You respect everyone around you. You respect every relation that you hold. You have a beautiful mind and the richest heart…. I wonder if I could ever be like you.

Rain: Easy girl…. I am not all that goody goody types and don’t spread these rumours, that affects my bad boy image.. So chill, you have a habit being sentimental for no reason. And let me tell you that you are a great girl to be with so please stop putting yourself down just because some pig faced bustard shattered your dreams and screwed your happiness …. My Mottie is less fragile. You look delicate but there’s a strong woman inside. And common all this sobbing business just doesn’t suits a hot damsel like you.

Mottie: Rain you know right … I find it really cheesy when you refer me hottie, sexy or whatever because I know all my life I had been a nerd. And it’s really a flattering attempt to make me feel special but hey please cut that crap.

Rain: If you know me well then you also must know that I never try to flatter any one not even the pretty girls around, I just speak what the fact is. Now if I ask you what’s being sexy..?? Most obvious answer would be having a great curvy body or wearing a stunning outfit so that people are bound to look at you and let me tell you that’s pure bullshit……… Being confident is being sexy. Loving yourself is being sexy. Standing up for what you love is being sexy. Remember one thing “ a girl is not hot when she wears hot but when she thinks hot” and you are exactly what it is… No matter how simple you look, you are a freak inside. You appear to be sober but you’re totally raw. There’s always a mad streak in your eyes. Always wants to fly. I love it when you don’t listen to me and do you own things. I love the way you never hide things and speak up so frankly. I love it when you call me pervert when I put brakes while riding bike but trust me I never did that on purpose (except twice). Yeah Mottie but sometimes you underestimate yourself, don’t do that girl don’t let yourself down for silly things, you are pearl that’s why I call you Mottie…..lol

Mottie: (I would never admit this entire my life but the fact is you just took my heart away, this time completely …. ask him …ya go ahead and just ask him …. Aaahhhhhhh common this is no time to be shy or nervous…if you didn’t ask him now then trust me you’ll spend your life regretting and cursing yourself for not having the guts)

RAIN ….DO YOU LOVE ME…..?????? ( Ohhh fuck….shit…..holy shit… I shouldn’t have asked)

Rain: hhmmmm Well LOVE is actually a very loaded word. It is puzzling and mixed at the same time. Not just that, it’s hard and troublesome just. Of course it’s knotty and tangled like hell. But then who cares, I don’t …………. Yes I love you.

Look I won’t entertain you by saying you’re the most different girl I met in my whole life, you make my world upside down or any other shit like that. The fact is I feel complete with you. I am always connected to you even when we’re not in touch and this connection is not because I miss you but I very well know that you even you feel the same thing for me as well. Girl even you know we were never just friends we had always been more than friends, from the day we met till today this time. And chill don’t worry, I’ll never make you feel miserable for not accepting your love for me. All I want is to see you smiling always and forever. If you are happy I am the happiest. It’s going to be all chilled as before, nothing can change our so called friendship or whatever. Not even the drastic rise of petrol prices .don’t worry I’ll get a bicycle soon. The madness will always continue.

Hey it’s getting dark I should drop you home. Your mom assumes me a decent guy so I can’t be hitting on her daughter at this late no matter how hot she is…lol..