Without her..... by Raj Jayswal

Living without her is so tough. I somehow manage to pass the days but nights become more tough to pass without her. Sometimes I think to myself that am I that much good to get such a loving person like her? I never thought that someone would love me so much. Without her my life has no meaning. It’s like living dead. She fills all the colours to my life. When I wake up in morning I want to see her face, I want to feel it. When I go for sleep I want see her. I want her in every moment of my life.

Without her it feels like I have lost something very important. It feels that something is missing in me. Something, without that I can’t live. It’s been almost four months since I met her or properly talked. I know she also would be feeling the same. Day by day this feeling increases. It’s like someone has stabbed a dagger into my chest and I can’t do anything about it. Its pain keeps on increasing. It’s the most horrible feeling. Hope she is doing good and she is not crying at nights. It really hurts just to think about that.

I am standing in my balcony watching the silent sky and the moon. It just reminds me of her. Cold winds are blowing and I am feeling so lonely. I wish I could have her by my side, holding each others hands. I am thinking what she must be doing right now. She must be studying or must be reading a novel, if she got any. Or maybe missing me, I hope she is not. If she would be here she would have said that I know her really well and she would have hugged me. I smiled at that thought.

I looked at her pic in my mobile. I moved my fingers on her beautiful face. I closed my eyes and saw her, tears rolled down from my eyes. I suddenly felt someone’s hand on my arm. I opened my eyes, it was she. It was like the world standing in front of me. She wiped my tears. In this dim moon light still her face seemed beautiful. Her hair were blowing in the air, few strands of her hair fell on her face and she moved them behind her right ear very shyly. I love when she does that.

I kept on staring at her. I hold her hands and I looked into her eyes and she in mine. No one said a word, we were just looking in each others eyes. Silence said it all. We were not speaking but her eyes said a lot. I came closer to her and she came more closer to me. We both were really happy to see each other. She knew what I wanted. I smiled at her and she smiled back. It was the beautiful moment. She hugged me.

‘I love you’, she said.

‘I love you too’, I replied.



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