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Just Saying

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Aftermath of GUILT By Abhinand Jaguva

Guilt never stops bothering you until something is done with it. Thus I finally made up my mind to confess things about Rika to Sara. I know it’s going to be very hard for her but I thought not to delay anymore. I had no idea as to how to begin with .My mind was all clouded with the possible questions that Sara might throw as hearing this. I imagined the way she will react and the way she will expose her anger. The very thought frightened me. Betraying the trust of your beloved is the worst crime one can ever do. Standing as a criminal in front of her, I should accept all the punishments she gives me. I spent the whole night thinking of how and what has to be said. I did not know when I drifted off to sleep.

“Sara I know what I have for you is going to hurt but please make your heart strong enough. I know the love that you have for me is very pure and uncountable but sorry to say that I’m not as true as you are to me. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love you but I’m not able to show all my love to you. Though it was I who started about this love to you first, I realized we were only friends when we decided not to talk to each other for 3 days. After few months something I never expected happened. You proposed me. But you have to know what happened before that. I hope you remember those days when I was quite addicted to orkut. It had some reason behind. And it was RIKA. When I came across her account for the first time she was nothing to me. Just a stranger. But something made me to leave her a friend request which she had approved it after few days. Thus I started to stalk her .Soon her orkut page was book marked in my PC. What impressed me about her were the tastes which were very similar to mine. But what made me to fall for her was her pretty face which she had uploaded as her profile picture. She swept my heart by her gorgeous looks. Soon I became crazy on her. I gave my best to chat with her but nothing worked out. Suddenly one day she was not found in orkut. She disappeared. That was when I missed her. Too much. But I was glad to catch her again in facebook. And with the tour to banglore, it was my first attempt in search of her. My attempt did not go in vain. I saw her on the last day of the tour. We happened to meet in some café and I also got a chance to talk with her. But my presence did not make her happy. It just happened. All the while I tried my best to bring this to your knowledge but I couldn’t. Our last outing to the café was when I realized the harm that I was doing to you. That was an embarrassing situation for me. My guilt killed me. Thus I decided to let you know everything. I know this will hurt you badly but I’m helpless Sara. I’m really very sorry. I shouldn’t have done this to you. But do know that I love you as well. Hmm…. sounds insane right?”
As I was about to complete with what I wanted to say, I felt Sara’s palm hard on my left cheek. Too hard. She screamed, her face distorted with fury and pain. Tears rolled down on her cheeks. It never stopped. She abused me. All I could do was just stand like a shameless sheep closing my eyes. All of a sudden I heard nothing. It was stopped. No cry. No shouts. No abuse. When I opened my eyes I found Sara lying on the floor unconscious. She never opened her eyes. Everything went black.

Photo courtesy:Google

Chinta ta ta chita chita
Chinta ta taa..
Chinta ta ta chita chita
Chinta ta taa..

i couldn't hear anything than this song. i breathed heavily without knowing what to do.Only then,I got my breath when the phone was glowing.I rubbed my eyes and turned on the bedside lamp. It took quite a few minutes for me to realize that it was just a dream. The clock showed 5.45 am. I looked for my phone and found it was Sara.

“Hello? “ I said.

“Good morning baby love you so much “was all I could hear. The very moment, the thought of confessing about Rika vanished.

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