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Saturday, 30 March 2013

Never Together...Never Apart... Part-5

Tears are said to be the most precious thing in this world. However, then why they fail to buy the person we lost?
Samar’s past was the cruelest thing I ever experienced in my life. My pains, my miseries were nothing in front of his. Samar was transformed into happy-go-lucky guy after our School. He became a dude, late night parties, hangouts and a very beautiful girl friend; Anmol. Anmol was the most beautiful part of his life. But, destiny had written something, not just bad but worst for him.

Time played its part. Anmol was on ventilator facing her death. She was suffering from a savior disease. Her heart was beating in an inconstant manner. Doctors were trying to make her heartbeat constant and normal. Her day was schedule with a hundred of medicines to gulp. Her death was near. She was struggling for her beats.

Samar was always there sitting next to her, comforting her but weeping silently. Samar used to weep at nights after making her sleep. He always tried not to cry when she was awake. However, sometimes few tears cheated him and left its wet stain on her white bed sheet. 

It was another night in the hospital. Samar made Anmol’s head comfortable on the pillow. She slept, after a long planning of their future together. Samar narrated his heart in words. What he always wished for, what he would get after Anmol’s heart would response constantly. Apparently, he knew that this was not going to happen. He would lose his Anmol.

Anmol means ‘Precious’, and yes, Anmol was precious to him. Tears are said to be the most precious thing in the world. However, they weren’t enough precious to save his Anmol. After she slept, Samar faced the reality. His weep was audible. He was trying his best to accept the truth, the reality that she won’t be in his life anymore.

He was crying louder. His weep was the most painful thing one could ever listen. His weeping was emitting pain. “I don’t want to lose you Anmol,” He cried painfully. But, Anmol was sleeping.

“Are you crying?” asked Anmol trying to open her eyes. His cry was loud enough to wake her up. Samar didn’t reply. His painful cry was the proof to Anmol’s question.

“I can’t see you crying like this. I will try to recover myself soon.” She started crying. Tears rolled down her soft cheeks and reached the pillow below her head.

“I am not crying, I am sorry” He wiped Anmol’s tears first, ignoring his own wet eyes. “Now, go to sleep.” He smiled and asked her to shut her eyes.

After few moments, Samar started weeping again. Anmol was half asleep. She didn’t react. She lay there numb and immovable. However, she promised herself something. What was that? No one knew.
Sadly, Next morning was the last dawn of Anmol’s life. Her parents were shouting on the doctors for improper management. Nurse might have forgotten to give her the early morning medicines or maybe Samar knew that it wasn’t Nurse’s fault but the “Karma” which played his part.

Everyone has a past; some of it is dark, as dark as a coal which paints our life with the darkest of its shade. Samar had one such past. I wanted to pull him out of that world and take him towards a new dawn where his life is filled with the happier shade of life. This was the coffee shop where Samar’s and Anmol’s love had bloomed. They used to spend their beautiful evenings here, well, I was unaware of it although. We moved out of the coffee shop later. I reached back home and wondered about him; he was not leaving my mind. He was all over my mind since that afternoon. 

We had started building a strange bond with each other; a bond that has was unnamed but yet so untamed. We had started moving beyond the definition of friendship. We moved towards a relationship which was more than friendship but less than what love can define. Yes, there exists a relationship between friendship and love which can never be explained, but with Samar, I knew we were something in between those two tags. I was experiencing that unnamed relationship.

Months passed by, we never confessed to each other that we have gone beyond the tag of friendship but in life, sometimes, some things are meant to be tacit. He used to care for me as a father, as he knew, that is the relation I was dying to live, to feel. He knew everything about my life and so did I, but, yet sometimes, he went through mood swings when he used to lie alone in his room. He never called me in those gloomy moments of his but I don’t know how, I used to feel that he isn’t fine and needs me desperately, and I would ping him up. A lot many times he used to get shocked on seeing my call when he needed me but didn’t have the heart to tell me… that is unanswered for me too that how could I feel he needs me but then, some questions are better left unanswered, so we let it be. 

To pursue his dream of being a Doctor, he moved to another city for his medical studies. Yes, I was heartbroken but then, we knew, we were not meant to be together. However, he was moving to another city, not to some other world. The hope of seeing him in vacations used to cheer me up.

I still remember, the last time I met him before he moved out of city; he had beautiful dreams glittering in his eyes. He had managed to cherish Anmol’s memories instead of crying over them. He had started believing in love that can happen again. He called me up to his place to get him helped through the last minute packing. He was searching for his lucky blue colored socks which he never used to wash and used to wear them whenever he had some important deals to do. Trust me, they stink worst than the municipality garbage. But, as though they were lucky, I managed to find the pair lying over the commode.

It was time for him to go and I was short of words to bid him good bye but he had something to say. He clutched his hands around my fragile waist and pulled me towards him, my breath turned heavy and I stared at him in disbelief. He looked straight into my eyes, and said ‘Pari, we are like the sides of river which is never together but never apart. I promise to be by your side forever, like one such side of the river. We won’t be together physically in life, but we would be bound by soul… forever’. Saying this, he kissed my cheek and left his room while I stood there trying to understand his last spoken words.

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Drishti Dasgupta (Blogger at Because you'are- One of a Kind)

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