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Just Saying

Just Saying

Thursday, 9 May 2013

From a Tiny Daughter to a Mother.. Create Life Within Life

P.S. – "This letter is from every ‘Girl Child’ who has been abandoned  when she’s just born or left on roads by a Mother.. Just because she’s a ‘GIRL’... Mother in specific.. because she herself is a ‘female’ and is considered to be a Symbol of Emotions.. and is not expected to do so...!!"

 Dear Maa,

Maa…  A word when a ‘toddler’ speaks for the first time.. a mother’s cheeks turns crimson and her eyes glisten with all the love and pleasure..!!

When I first stepped into this beautiful world (thought at that time) I saw you crying…  Ur lips were smiling.. Ur hands were caressing my body but Ur eyes were full of tears…. Seeing you cried, I also cried… because I felt my First cry may be was blatant to your ears..  But then I marked with my tiny black sparkling eyes, that behind your tears, there was a weak smile curled at the corner of your lips widening from one ear to another….

I loved you so much at that time.. U were my love at first sight…  May be you loved me too and May be I had chance to Live with you for whole of my Life..!! But I didn’t know that all these manifestation of emotions was aberrant and short-lived.

You wrapped me in a blanket that was so soft, smooth and comfy. You cuddled me and instantly I felt so warm and cozy when you held me in your arms close to your chest hearing all your heart beats to which my pulse was dancing.. And I was sooo very much in love with U because u took such wonderful care of me and u became my love at first sight.. because its u who I saw the first time…

And then… All of a sudden, the flow of emotions changed…. U were rushing me to some place walking really briskly… Ur breathe heavy and Ur Heart Pounding Rapidly.. My tiny body somehow felt heavy for your eyes… You wrapped me so tight in blanket, unaware I was suffocating inside..  as if I had to be hidden quickly before any one saw me.. In your eyes, I was as if the yield of the sin that you had committed… You also claimed that the society didn’t accept females those days..  and that’s the reason I should not be with you….

I wanted to hug U and tell U that – “No, I wanna be with U”.. But how could I??.. I was just born naa.. I thought for once u would understand my unexpressed emotions… But u failed.. Amidst the pain, I saw you rushing as if time had given you some deadline.. The sky was so dark and the water was pouring so heavily .. Was unable to understand at that time… It was heavily raining and it was a Dark Night…!!

You yourself were not much well to balance yourself but still you took me to a strange unknown place…   And I was all of a sudden happy that it was the longest ride in my life… A long-drive or A long walk I can say… A Walk To Remember.. in which only u were walking ….rather running … as if participated in a Marathon..! Hence, the Longest Ride of My life (till then) just ended….

Yes..!! It indeed was the longest day in my life which happened to be on the day I was born…!!

When we reached that place.. U placed me on a bench by the roadside … and just walked away… without any explanation and without any good-bye…  But u were kind enough to find a bench that was sheltered so that I was safe… And U kissed my forehead with your soft pink lips and then I could never see u again.. I wanted to scream out your name and call you back.. I wanted to stand up and spread my arms and hug u and never let you go.. But I was just born and that’s where my fate was sealed…!! U didn’t even turn back once .. and my eyes kept looking at you till even your shadow disappeared…

May be it was easy for you to walk away, but it wasn’t easy for me to let you go…!!  I was scared … I thought u would come back in sometime.. at least some time later… I was scared to hell and I was shivering .. But only thing I knew at that time was to cry… I wasn’t much talented at that time naa….

You didn’t come that night.. Infact, nobody came that night… That was my first experience with Pangs of Loneliness…  The nature also as if felt my pain.. The sky started to weep to accompany  me and as if giving me the signal that it was there for me…!! If I knew this was the ending, I would never had hoped for beginning…!!

Since I was tiny… The sound of rain overcame my voice…. My tears were sinking behind the heavy down pour… I cried and cried and cried…

And then I smiled.. A day had just dawned in..and some arms held me.. not sure who’s were they…!!

The longest day n night in my life just ended.... And I was then at some safe and sound place...!!

Maa, if u still thinking about me, please don’t… Don’t punish yourself…  I just wanted to tell you that I had forgiven you long ago.. and a Big Thank You for giving me the very first taste of Love.. Giving my first Warmth.. First Kiss.. First Hug….!! Its only because u gave me the first Taste of Love that today I am able to Spread Love and Spread Smiles Everywhere..!! I have no hard feelings.. no grudges at all.. And that’s the reason I m so loving.. Because If I never held grudges for someone who abandoned me when I was right born and stepped into the world.. how can I have grudges for someone else.. Never..

Maa, I don’t know whether I have the rights to call you that or not, At least I would be able to call you ‘Maa’ here... because although You had thrown me away from your life but remember I AM a part of you, the part of  youthat you can’t just eliminate  away from your life!!

My existence is because u were there.. I am having this Life because u brought me to Life…!! I am really grateful to you…!! Movies, Poets and People have always claimed that The First Love is Unforgettable…

Yes maaa.. U r unforgettable.. And my First Love is only U because U were the First Person I saw when I was born…!! Thank you for giving me Life…

Your flesh and Blood,
- Ur Tiny Soul…

P.S.-" Its really Unfortunate that even today people are abandoning an infant just coz it’s a Female… 'Please Create a Life within a Life.. Don’t Banish a Life within a Life on the basis of its Gender… ' Coz this is how every infant feels but its helpless to express… it hurts badly till she lives..."

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