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Just Saying

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Is it me- I hope not...

Seems like my mom dad already made their way to dreams. I looked around in the room, there is no one breathing except me. To kill my loneliness... I opened my FB account. I clicked the 'Chat On' at 2:03 AM. I always kept my chat off. Those unknown strangers were the only hope to me tonight. My known still strangers had already left me alone. They didn't even bother to ask "How are you?" or "Are you alright?" , "Anything you want to share with us?". At the same time this stupid Facebook status box keeps asking me to share what I have in me to share.

Yes, I preferred this status box over them. After putting a status and getting some comments like "Anything serious bro?" "Why are you sad?", i felt satisfied. These little pampering comments were far better than those known strangers. Reading them I felt good. I left the real world miles behind in my life. Now, I preferred staying on FB just to get the little pamper my lonely heart deserved. I turned back to the chat box after getting fascinating likes and comments. There were few messages saying "Are you Insomniac? "Go and sleep? "Ullu hai kya?" I just read them and ignored.

My mobile screen was the only emitting cell in my room. I somehow made my way to switch board and brightened my room. Darkness disappeared, giving me a clear view of my current life. I am actually alone. Out of the darkness I just saw my shadow following me. Following me, until I reached the washbasin. My eyes were too dull to look around. I put my both hands on washbasin and moved my chin up. I found my cheeks getting washed by my tears. I had tears in my dull eyes. I couldn't even feel tears on my eyes now.They always stay there. I have cried a lot. I moved my hands abruptly all around my face and tried to make myself smile.

I did. I smiled.

I looked up again. Though my lips were having a curve upward still my eyes were glowing with pain. I had no choice. I put the tap on and splash water on my face two three times. This pain was in-washable. I moved the furry towel all around my face. Tears were wiped out and so was my pain. Now I could easily see the person standing in the mirror. I looked around him. He was alone. I tried to kill his loneliness by passing a smile. He smiled back to me. As, if he wanted to make a new friend. We kept smiling to each other. He was no more lonely. He just found a new friend. . Who won't leave him ever. I was trustworthy.

I closed the tap and came back to my room. Meanwhile, my eyes managed to fill them again. Thy were weeping silently again. I looked again at the clock. It shows "2:28"

I turned off the light. My last friend, my shadow left me too. I lied somewhere near the bed on the floor. I took a pillow and slept down. You know the best part about pillow. They soak all the tears all the pain you share with it at night. I always found it wet at nights and dry at mornings. I hugged it and doze-off to live another lonely day next morning.

-Himanshu Appie Chhabra

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