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Just Saying

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

You're my love, not life! - Chapter 8

“Yes, I got married.”

I got married for the happiness of my mom. Arrange marriage looked certain and more trustworthy to my mother. She chose “Shubham” over my “Kartik”. She somehow convinced me to marry him and I managed to accept it for her happiness. She was the happiest person on my wedding and I didn’t wish anything more from my god. I knew what I have been asking from my god since years, I used to make just four words prayer “Make my mom Happy”, though god failed to do that. So, I did it myself. I sacrificed my love for her happiness and brought the smile on her face; the smile which she lost while losing her love.

My life became arranged and certain now. I knew I would spend my whole life being wife of Shubham and will die in my old days. But, fate again flirted with me. It had planned something else for me. Soon, I found Shubham changing. He had sacrificed his love for his parents too. I was happy, but few months were enough for him to realize that his decision was wrong. He chose his love over the happiness of his parents and I found myself with the tag of “Divorced” in this cruel society.

My mom brought me home but didn’t utter a single word. I had nothing much to convey either. I was broken drastically. For few months I was all alone. I wanted Kartik to somehow hear my sobs and whispers and come back, but he never did. I wanted his shoulder to cry upon. I wanted his arms to envelop me. I wanted his lips to whisper slowly in my ears that I am not alone, he is always with me. I wanted his fingers moving softly on my eyes to wipe my tears. I just wanted a reason to wipe my tears and live happily.

My mother who saw her own tears in her days was forced to see my tears now. The only difference was that she never gave me right to wipe her tears in past and now she herself has lost her right to wipe my tears.

Ultimately, I had lost the battle. I had lost for what I have been struggling since years. I looked at my mother, she was hiding her tears of guilt for not trusting Kartik and my love. I looked at myself, I had tears in my eyes for losing my love for my mother’s happiness and still she was unhappy. May be Kartik was happy somewhere in the corner of this earth; happy in a misunderstanding that he has earned my mother’s happiness and gifting it to me by going away from me.

“I Love you,” Kartik whispered in my ears. I knew it was a dream and I had slept while crying in my room.

“I love you too Kartik,” I said him back. I cuddled him and got my dream to live. But, soon he woke up and walked away from me silently. I tried walking toward him but then I found my mom smiling at me and somehow I stopped and hugged my mom. Soon, my mom walked away from me too. I was all alone. I screamed…… My dream was broken and again I found myself alone. My life was stuck at the point where my dreams and reality were becoming same. I had lost my life…

“Shubham divorced you? Your mother’s fears came true at last. The fear due to which she did not let Kartik to enter your life was made alive by Shubham, her own choice.” Zinath said in disbelief.

“Yes. She had realized what she had lost, what I had lost. But then, her regret did not matter anymore. I moved on with my life. Having a successful career was the only aim of my life.”

The night passed by and the dawn kissed the earth. I and Zinath chatted endlessly like old forgotten pals. Soon, we had become best of buddies. A week later, my mother arrived Hydrabad to see me. She was supposed to stay with me for a month. Two weeks passed by and finally my joining date approached. It was the very first day of my office and that morning, I found Zinath at my door step with bouquet of Orchids to wish me luck. My mom was equally happy that day.

Later, I slipped into my skin fit formal pants and wrapped myself into the formal shirt while I laid my hair loose. Nervousness and anxiety covered my senses and made them go numb. I reached to my office premises and glanced at the new and unknown faces. The smile on their face showed a friendly gesture. I moved towards the receptionist to get further assistance.

“Morning. This is Aditi and I have been asked to join here from…”

“Oh yeah Miss Aditi, I have been expecting you. Give me a minute, I’ll inform your departmental manager and he’ll be guiding you.” The receptionist cut me short and dialed random numbers on her landline.

“He’ll be here in a minute.” She smiled. I smiled back.

I tapped my feet on the floor out of nervousness and casually glanced at my right when my heart beats paced heavily. My senses turned numb and face went pale. My eyes dampened themselves but soon I realized the people around and controlled my erupting emotions. He looked at me in amazement. I could not figure if he was happy or shocked to see me. He seemed calm and serene as he always used to be.

“Morning Miss Aditi. I am your manager and I’ll be guiding you through your tasks, let’s begin.” He said casually with a smile.

-Dhristy Dasgupta (Blogger at Maple Leaf ) 

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