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Just Saying

Just Saying

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

December Diaries - Chapter 6

‘Give me three clear reasons to forgive you.’ He had that seriousness building in his voice. Joanna succeeded in bringing Aryan face-to –face. She was happy that now he at least wanted to talk about it.

‘You want me to give you a presentation on ‘How much I love you?’’ Joanna asked softly. She had no reason to love him. She just loved him because of him, not because of any reason.

‘You want my forgiveness or not?’ Aryan chuckled. ‘Yes, I want to know what you were doing when I was crying after reading that letter. I want to know what you were doing when I was in pieces. I want to know everything. I want an answer; answer of that every tear which questioned the purity of my love. Trust me; your life will fall short in answering those questions asked by my countless tears. So, technically I am making it easy for you. Give me three reasons to forgive you. Just three…’

She took a deep breath. Tears were on the verge of her lashes.

‘Reason one…’ She started sobbing softly. ‘I have cried since the day I left you alone. I have answered every question asked by your tear with my tear.’ Her words were broken with the calamities of her pain.

‘Reason two; it wasn’t me who gave you that note. It was my just
"one insecure thought" and I have killed that thought years back and graved it in my memories. Our love is immortal; we can’t get apart for just one silly thought.’ Looking at her tears, his heart began melting down. But he didn’t show it up. However, somewhere Joe’s words were squeezing his hard heart and turning it softer. He hadn’t showed it much in his eyes. He carried on with his looks of detestation.

She was struggling for breath. She sat on her knees and started crying badly. She was feeling lifeless. A part of Aryan’s soul felt terrible on seeing her pain and went to Joanna and put a hand on her shoulder. However, his body was still standing there, looking at a broken girl crying few steps away.

‘Reason 3 Miss Joanna..?’ Aryan shouted badly.

Joanna’s heart skipped some beats listening to his roar. She wiped her tear, stood up and whispered ‘Reason three, I know a person. He has a wish. I respect it and I want to complete it.’

Aryan was disgusted with the third reason. He literally thought that she had wasted her third chance to make him forgive her. ‘What are you talking about? Who? What wish?’

‘I have a person in my life. He is 17 years old. He studies in 12th A of Saint Merry School. I know that person since 6 years. He is good at studies. He is smart, he has a girlfriend too. Her name is Joanna and his name is Aryan. He has a wish… a wish to spend his entire life with his love Joanna. In last 6 years, every day he looks at me in hope that I will help him somehow and complete his wish. I am trying to complete it. I can’t face his hopeful eyes anymore now. He is the most important person of my life. I want his wish to be completed before I die. It’s my promise.’ Joanna finished.

He was clean bowled with the third answer of hers. His soul which was sitting near Joanna started weeping loudly. It was screaming, it was losing all its pain which it held for last six years. It was becoming lighter. The pain was going away. Joanna couldn’t see it. But, Aryan was seeing it there next to her. It was screaming ‘I Love you Joanna’. It came to Aryan and shrugged him. He didn’t react. The soul sat on its knees and begged to forgive her. Aryan looked at it and then looked at Joanna.

He was all set to forgive her. However, he was somewhere scared of forgiving her. He didn’t want to be softer this time. Like the last time, when his heart was so soft to her and she crushed it badly. He wanted some more reasons to stay or forgive.

Joanna could sense that dilemma of him now. She thought for a while and said ‘Give me twenty four hours.’

‘What?’ he asked.

‘Just give me twenty four hours of your life. I want to spend it like we used to. Even if you don’t forgive me, I would be happy that at least
I got a chance to rewrite our destiny.’

‘Twenty four hours, and then you get lost from my life?’ He insulted.

‘Yes.’ She sobbed and looked around. They had become a topic to gossip about. The people around had no idea what Aryan and Joanna were up to but they had surely known things were completely unpleasant. This time, Joanna didn’t give a damn of what world had to say about her. All that mattered to her was Aryan’s forgiveness. She wiped her tears and looked at Aryan helplessly. He had become strong enough and no tinge of emotion was visible on his stoic face.

‘Drop your number to my PA. I’ll drop you a text if I am available tomorrow.’ He said and left, without waiting for her to reply.

The terseness in his voice and coldness of his heart froze Joanna’s emotions to the core. She cried and laughed at the same time. A strange madness was overtaking her with the thought of meeting him next day again. She wanted that one single chance so badly that she could put all her life on stake while waiting for him.

That night, as she locked herself inside the four walls of her room, her diary became her guarding angel. It stole some more glimpses of her life, of her fate!

“Dear Dairy,

Today I confessed the dark secret which was buried in the depth of my heart and in the soul of your pages since years. Today, I confessed that I love him, I really do. All I have to do now is to wait, wait for his forgiveness, and wait for those twenty four hours of his life. Tomorrow is 4th of December, the same day when he proposed his heart out to me in front of Jesus six years back. I don’t know if it is coincidence or destiny, but whatever it is, in a way it is a beautiful. It seems like life is offering me a second chance to rewrite my fate. And I promise, this time I won’t back out.

It was always me who was at fault. It was me who never gave it a chance. If I had given a chance and put my efforts and believed in his love, who knows, today we may have been together. Who knows, tomorrow we wouldn’t be spending our day like strangers but as a happily married couple. I called him immature but I realize it was me!

In all this years I spent without him, I had just survived and not lived.
But tomorrow, I will live like there is no tomorrow. I would surrender myself to him. I would make him own my heart, my soul and everything that I have. I promise you, diary. I promise you. Tomorrow would be the most beautiful chapter inked into your heart which I would cherish till ages of my existence.” She completed penning her thoughts and dropped herself over the bed staring at the cell phone in her hand. Waiting for just one text of him, just one text saying there would be new tomorrow and a new dawn of her life.

On the other side, Aryan was completely fighting with his own self. At the bottom of his heart, he still loved her. But that love was buried with a thick coat of hatred. In reality, he didn’t give a damn about Joanna’s existence anymore. To overcome his dilemma, he called up
Akash, his best friend.

‘Didn’t I tell you buddy that Karma is a bitch?’ Akash said on the other end of the phone.

‘Yep.’ Aryan cut it short.

‘Listen to me, I have a plan.’

‘What plan?’ Aryan asked.

‘Listen to me very carefully now!’ Akash said, narrating his evil minded plan.

‘I don’t think I am doing this.’ Aryan opposed.

‘I can just suggest you buddy, rest is on you. You didn’t listen to me years back; you are repeating the same mistake again. Think about it.’ Akash said and dropped the call.

Aryan gave it a deep thought. Somewhere his conscience was opposing him from doing what he was going to do, and somewhere his mind was forcing him to do exactly what Akash had told him to.

And then, he had sighed deep and made his choice. He picked up his cell phone and sent a text to Joanna saying, “Tomorrow at 7.30 AM sharp. I’ll be at your door step to pick you up, just like those olden days.”

As the cell phone buzzed in Joanna’s hand, she jumped out of her feet in excitement. Her happiness knew no bounds. Her tears and laughter were like inseparable buds, always coming together when it came to Aryan. She got out of her bed and looked at the wall clock. There were just five more hours to go in meeting Aryan. How could she sleep, how could she dream when her reality was going to be far more beautiful than it!

Drishti Dasgupta
(Blogger at Maple Leaf)

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