December Diaries - Chapter 8
‘So, what’s the story of six years without me?’ He asked her. The car was there and they sat in the car. Driver asked them the destination. Joanna gave him the directions and continued talking to him.
‘My six years were the struggle to forget you. I don’t want to hide anything from you. I dated six boys in last six years. Every time I realized that it wasn’t love. It was just another failed attempt to move on. So many failures in relationship became the thing of gossip in my surrounding and then I was declared as slut by them. They used to back bitch about me. How I date boys just for fun. However, it was not for fun. It was to discover the lost love in me.’ She completed with a long sigh.
Slut wasn’t the right words Aryan wanted to listen. He had doubt on purity of Joana’s love. When Aryan wasn’t even thinking to date someone else except Joanna, she was trying to find his replacement. Aryan couldn’t even think of loving someone again and she was trying to discover love once again. Was she really in love with him?
This was the biggest question in his heart as well as mind which was now stopping him to forgive her. ‘Slut,’ Aryan shrugged.
‘I have never said ‘I Love you’ to anyone, except you. It was just you Aryan. I have always loved you. I am guilty of leaving you alone halfway. I don’t care what people think of me. I just want to clarify this to you.’ She said.
He wasn’t looking at her. He was looking outside the window. London was in hurry. It was moving so quick with each passing moment. His thoughts surrendered him. His brain reminded him his purpose. It was time for making everything even. On the other side, his heart understood her condition and wanted to give her that one single chance.
‘She is a slut.’ His mind said.
‘No she isn’t. It’s the people around her who named her. She is the same Joanna.’ His heart argued.
‘So many people can’t be wrong. Six relationships in six years, Aryan it’s the time to think with brain. Last time you used this heart and it just gave you pain. Don’t listen to him.’
‘It wasn’t my fault. I guided him. No one was wrong at that time. It was just a bad thought which kept them apart for six long years.’ His heart justified.
‘You always give pain buddy.’ Brain put blame on his heart.
‘And you always take revenge.’ Heart blamed back.
‘Revenge hurts less.’ It said.
‘It hurts less to you. Not to others. It shatters them. I will bring both of them closer and you will make them apart.’ Heart said.
‘They are apart from the last six years. It is destined.’
‘We are our own destiny.’ Heart shinned.
Joe’s hand pulled him out of his thoughts. They were in the parking lot of a restaurant. ‘The Pond Side’ he read the name. They both got off the car and started walking it. It was a restaurant set-upped beneath the open sky.
There were small ponds in the sky and just a single table was placed near a pond. It gave them privacy. It was the most romantic and expensive restaurant around.
‘Food is always appealing beneath these stars. It reminded me of your birthday night. We had spent the whole night having the cake beneath the sky. It wasn’t the best dinner but tasted best beneath those stars.’
‘What would you like to have Sir/Madam?’ Waiter disturbed them and greeted both.
‘A Cake,’ Joanna said. A smile arrived on waiter’s face. However, he hadn’t showed it. He hardly took an order of the cake in dinner. He jotted down and disappeared.
‘It was not because of stars. It was because of company we shared.’ She blushed, recollecting those memories. It was the best birthday she had celebrated ever; two spoons and a cake beneath those countless stars.
Waiter brought the cake and they both held the spoons to eat the cherries like kids. ‘I will eat the cherries.’
‘In your dreams Joe,’
It was a huge relief, the moment he smiled and said Joe. Her Aryan was coming back, leaving the attitude of arrogant asshole. They shared few more moments of the school life. She wanted to spend some more time with him but it was now time to go back. They both walked to the parking lot. Aryan could sense that she wanted to spend some more time with him.
‘Now just you will drop me home.’ Joe said. Aryan had a huge grin on his face. He ordered the driver to give him the keys and go back. He did the same. Soon, they reached to Joanna’s apartment and both of them got out of the car.
‘So,’ Joanna said, standing in front of the apartment door.
‘So,’ he spoke, softly.
‘My time is over. Thank you for giving me this day. I would cherish its
memory, till the last breath.’
‘I should thank you for this day. Because all the hatred I had for you in all these years, ended today.’
‘So does that mean you forgave me?’ Joanna asked, nervously.
‘Yes, I did.’ He said, looking into her eyes. ‘So the next time if destiny makes us meet once again, in some corner of this world, I would welcome you with a smile and not with disgust.’
‘Thank you. Thank you so much. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.’ She said with her eyes turning hazy with the tears filling in. Her wandering heart got the peace it was awaiting since long. All the regrets and guilt disappeared and left her soul alone to fly with the wind of love, happiness, and togetherness. She walked close to him and hugged him tight. She knew, maybe it was the very last time she was seeing him, maybe it was the last time she was holding her entire world into her small feeble arms. She wanted him to stay, stay forever this time but she left the choice to him. She just wanted a day to live; the rest was Aryan’s call.
At the depth of her heart, she prayed and wished that Aryan would stop her from going and would make her stay in his life. She wished he would ask her out, one more time! But he did not. He did not say a word to stop Joanna from going away. She pulled herself apart from his warmth and smiled at him while the tears yet kept rolling down her cheeks.
‘Good bye, Aryan. Hope to see you again, someday, sometime, somewhere!’ She said, with a painful smile. Aryan smiled at her too. She left the hope of them being together again, and turned towards her apartment to leave. As she unlocked the door, a voice rising behind took her breath away.
‘Joanna,’ Aryan had called out.
‘Yes, Aryan.’
‘You have asked me to give you twenty four hours of my life. And my watch says, there are still six hours remaining to be twenty four. Won’t you invite me for a coffee?’ He shot.
‘Of course, come in.’ She said with extreme jubilance filled into her heart. She could not believe things were actually falling into place, and that Aryan was giving her one more chance, to live this time and not to survive!
He entered her apartment and looked around at the enchanting beauty of her place. She had decorated every single corner of her apartment with love. She showed him her bedroom and he realized she was yet a kid at heart. The stuffed toys, the fairy paintings over the walls, and a huge photo frame behind the wall of her bed where she smiled wide with her dad, were the proof of her innocent heart.
‘You sit here, I will be back in few minutes with an amazing coffee, ok?’ Joanna said, and moved towards the kitchen leaving Aryan behind in her room.
Aryan rested himself over her soft cushioned bed and let out a deep sigh. He was in constant dilemma. He was stuck between the choices of his mind and his heart. He pulled open the drawer beside her bed, and there he saw the beautiful diary resting safely. He picked it up and turned through the pages of her life. Those pages had screamed to say that she had always loved him, they screamed that she was so lonely, so fragile, and so pure at heart.
As these thoughts covered his mind, he dug his hand inside his pocket to take out a neatly folded note from it – just like he had done six years back. He looked at the note and then into the diary. He turned the currently bookmarked page, and soon he realized it was 4th of December. While reading through those pages, his heart started conquering his mind. But soon, Akash’s voice began booming in his head. As his dilemma went on and he stared at the note and her diary repeatedly, he heard Joanna coming into the room. He kept the note inside her diary and placed it safely in the drawer and closed it hurriedly.
‘So here’s your coffee,’ she said and handed him the mug.
Soon, they began chatting as if there’s no tomorrow. He could see the glimpse of the teen girl in her, whom he had loved years back. With every word of hers, he realized how different she was from the rest. Her ways, her ideas, and her love, everything was different – always. She kept on blabbering, and he kept staring at her quivering lips. Sometime later, his heart gave up of the bound and his love began to reach hers.
He pulled her towards him softly, and then her blabbering lips came to rest. He placed his lips onto hers and devoured the dew pearls over them, bit by bit. His hands slid around her waist to grip her tighter as he kissed her deeper and deeper. He began kissing her neck and she hugged him in return. His hands softly explored every inch of her body like a curious explorer, while he undressed her slowly. She surrendered herself to him completely and he took the charge to love her. Their bodies rubbed against each other generating the warmth, warmth of their love. He tried getting closer to her, decreasing every single inch of space between them. As he moved, she screamed in pain. To his horror, he realized that he had just taken her virginity.
‘Shit! Why didn’t you tell me before?’ He shot.
‘Aryan, I had told you I WAS called a slut in my college. I didn’t say I AM a slut. If I had been with several guys, that did not mean I have been sleeping with them. You were my first love, you were my first kiss, and now, you are the first to own me and I would make sure that you be my last.’ She said softly, yet sobbing with pain, emotional and physical.
The words she spoke made him numb and his heart won over his mind. All his hatred actually vanished and he felt ashamed of himself for the revenge he was going to take. He moved down to kiss her lips and then, they got engrossed in a passionate love making. Later, she rested her head over his shoulder, which was the best place of refuge to her.
‘I am going back to India tomorrow. But before that, I want you to meet my dad. Will you come at the airport to see us?’ Aryan said.
‘Yes, I will.’ She said, kissing him.
‘I may leave before you get up. I will wait for you tomorrow. Choice is yours. And this time, remember that it has to be forever. If you still have any insecurity in you, just don’t come and I would know we were never meant to be,’
‘I would,’ she said and they lost each other in their warmth.
The next morning, as Joanna got up for the new day, she realized that Aryan was gone as he had said. She smiled at herself and felt as is she is the luckiest girl alive to get his love back. She got up to get her diary, just so that she can reveal the beautiful secrets of the previous night. She picked the diary into her hand and turned to a new blank page which was soon to be filled with the ink of love, when a note fell over her feet.
&
Drishti Dasgupta
(Blogger at Maple Leaf)
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