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Monday, 10 March 2014

Shaurya Forever... A Real Story. Part-10

Ayushi had to leave for Singapore that night itself. I wanted to see her, probably for the last time. I felt as if she would never return back to me. I used to think that ‘Love’ was the most felt word in the dictionary, but it isn’t. The word is Goodbye. It was so fatal that it made me feel worse while I was feeling bad for Cancer. 

 
There was a time when I wanted to hold her hand and rest my head on her shoulder that would ease all my pain. These were the moments when I realized how it feels to suffer from two different diseases. How it feels when you lose the touch of happiness. That touch of happiness for me was Ayushi. I had people for whom I wanted to open my eyes every morning and live but she was the rarest of the rare with whom I wanted to live.

There are always two sides of a person- Bright and Dark. The Bright side is the one that reflects his outer self, the strong side that I was showing to everyone around me. And the Dark one is the weaker one, full of darkness and least of hopes, the one that every person keeps just to himself, hiding from the world. The painful, insecure was my Darkest side. Somewhere the brighter I was surrendering himself to the lost and hopelessness. I could visualize the dark me, dragging the powerless part of me to its doom.

Sanya visited me in the hospital that night. I wanted to tell her how lonely i was feeling, how losing Ayushi was making me surrender. But my words did not reach my lips. Already they all were hoping against hope, they wanted me to live. I could not make them witness my weaker side.  I knew it quite well that the day I will quit is the day they will quit too. So I was fighting for them, fighting with them.

I had passed many nights drenched in pain, got up with pain but then the day would give me another Hope. Hope that 'After every dark night, there is a bright morning waiting for.'

I was now waiting for that Bright Day when Cancer would be Shaurya Free!

Ayushi called me from Singapore, the next day itself. I felt glad when she told me I was the first person she called. The question that I asked Sid the previous day, somehow I got the answer. He was right it was all up to me. I wanted to hold back, I wanted to wait for her.
 

Medanta now seemed like my second home. In spite of my relentless, I was here every next day. 11 Chemotherapies in just six months but the results still seemed unfruitful. I seemed to be more familiar to all the Pain now. Life is so strange, Cancer some months back was just a part of me but today I was a part of it.  A little Shaurya was residing inside 'CANCER' trying to fight, trying to sustain, trying to just LIVE one another DAY.

My reports were no less than some fluctuating Share rates. Initially after little Chemotherapy, my reports were coming good. At one time I was 70 percent out of Cancer.  But today the scenario was different though most of the things were still same. The same hospital, the same doctors, the same patient- Shaurya Maingi, the same mother who was waiting for her son to come back to her, the same father who was leaving no stone unturned to make it best for him, the same little brother who was waiting to see his brother back home, the same Bhua who did not want to lose him like she had lost her husband, the same Ayushi who was living in Singapore hoping to hear about his recovery, the same friends who were expecting to relive the old times again, the same Sahil who was eagerly waiting to capture another moment, the same sisters who wanted their brave brother to be fine again, the same Mancha who was desperately waiting to see everything normal again.

Everything was so same but one change made everything Change a bit.

"MEDANTA REFUSED TO TREAT ME FURTHER"

 





Written by: 

Parul Parihar 
Himanshu Appie Chhabra


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