I woke up to shafts of rain whizzing down the window pane
that dispersed into tiny water droplets tracing the wholesome of the drenched
glass pane. The gray sky above those rain soaked olive lawns never fails to
denture the euphoric monsoon; it resembled more of a misty winter morning. I
stood stark against the faint glare of the rain braving window gazing at the
‘wet world’ stretched to the farthest extent of my sight. It was quiet cold.
The prolonged shower had evaporated the realms of torrid summer to be condensed
by joy of relief. I saw through the canopy of the massively built palm tree
surging to shelter the grey necked falcon as tickling water drops sent fits of
cold through the predator’s scales. The boisterous streaming of the rain by now
had got through my lousy genes. The clamminess of the setting pleaded to
unnerve my bolts, I wanted to go out and relish the torrents hit my body
shoving off decades of reluctance. I wanted to walk those muddy lanes bare
footed. I wanted to cajole with her
strolling in deliquescence through the heavy downpour, hand in hand on the
shores of a ripple faced Ganges. The erring silence within and the downpour
outside…left me cradled in the clasp of romance…
The phone ring blissfully nudges the serene silence.
“Hey, what’s up baby? Missing me in the monsoon??” Amrita
chuckled.
“Sooooo much” I
replied clearing my throat.
“Hmm…You sound
sleepy! Not going to office today? “She asked.
“Nah, took a
leave…will go out with mom for some shopping. By the way where are you?” I
spoke trying to scrap off the remnant sleep.
“Just reached office…Was caught in rain…I missed you too…”
she said cozily.
By then my mind was galloping down the tracks of imagination
for nothing could be more beautiful than a rain sodden Amrita. I loved the way
her silken strands of hair stuck to her dimply cheek and I never felt tired to
put it neatly behind her ears. Every touch of her made my ‘feel good’ hormones
squirt into every possible ducts. Drops of rain that rolled down her face only
to tangle amidst her undulating eye lashes making her wink it out; multiplies
my desire to smooch her. She looks so kissable whenever she winked. She winked
often, I loved kissing. Her jovial smile steadily creeping up to those crimson
lips transformed every single melancholy of mine to heartfelt melody. She was
my most precious belonging. She was the reason for my happiness. She was the
vision for my dreams. She was the shelter to my soul…
“Where are you dear??” she spoke anxiously.
“Here itself” came my apt reply, I was still so much taken
into fantasizing her.
“Umm…Okay…You can
feel me later” She said and I could almost visualize her lips curving into a
smile on the other side of the phone and finally she broke into laughter. ‘She
reads me so well.’ I wondered.
I was also smiling and then I remembered something to say. I
wish I wouldn’t have said so…
“Amrita, I think you should quit your job now…It’s only
three months to go before we get married…” I spoke mind calculating so many
consequences of the same.
“Two more months’ baby…Please…I promise in one month I shall
learn to cook all your favorite dishes…Please” She spoke like pre school kids
and that had set my heart melting into blobs of emotions.
“It’s not that dear…I am serious, you HAVE to quit…” May be
for the first time ever, I chose to modulate my voice to sound stern to Amrita.
“But, why??”
“Because my mom doesn’t prefer her bahu working even after her marriage is finalized” I said sounding
like a nineteenth century Indian.
“What do you mean?? I work here; I am not here to check out
guys, that I cannot work after my marriage is fixed.”
I found myself locating equilibrium between my mom’s
ideologies and Amrita’s pleading behavior. I was clueless.
“Please dear, just two months nah…Anyways, got some work, I will hang up now. Bye.” She hastily
spoke and ended the call.
I still stood their with images of a pleading Amrita, whom I
can’t say a ‘no’ to…I never had till date and my mom’s ‘what-will-people-say-if-they-get-to-hear-bahu-going-out-everyday-when-she-is-supposed-to-get-married-in-a-while’
concept towering up to my full height and almost choking me. Amrita and I
had been in a relation since my college days. Currently she is working in some
not so renowned private sector compared to my big named INFOSYS. I worked my
ass off convincing my people to agree to a love marriage and now when things
are set, new problems appear in the picture.
‘MAN PROPOSES AND GOD DISPOSES’ this much used idiom now
appears so true to me. I was standing to numb senses gazing at the rain that
had turned drizzle by now. I wanted to jump into conclusions but consequence
loomed large and heavy. Nothing seemed going my way. I walked out of my room
frustrated.
I saw my mom putting up breakfast on the table. I didn’t say
a word. My silence was noticed.
‘Any issues beta?
, You look upset.” She questioned to my agitation, standing at the reason of
it.
“Amrita won’t quit” I said splashing cold water on my face
and in the mirror I looked at her face draining its color. She stood robbed off
life glancing at me.
“She has to” she
added and headed towards the kitchen.
“Why is it so necessary??” I said with a ‘please-let-it-go’
tone in my voice.
“Look beta,
firstly we are allowing you for a Love marriage. There is already lot of talks
going around in our family regarding you being a spoilt kid marrying his own
choice of girl. We are already facing so much of humiliations and above it we
cannot afford our bahu to go out and
work at this stage. People will spread rumors.” She paused for my answer. But I
was speechless. I was going nuts in my head trying to digest whatever she said;
she made me feel guilty for being in love. It felt like someone struck my heart
with a hammer. I wanted to get out of that place immediately. I wanted to get
back to Amrita; the only person whom I can be at peace with. I stood their
holding back my tears because shedding them won’t affect my mom. I felt like
standing on a quick sand hump that pulled me down every second.
“Have your breakfast and get ready. We need to shop as
well.” She left out a blatant order.
I went back to my room and was standing affirmed by the window
as tears rolled down my cheeks. I was sobbing like a kid who had lost his
favorite toy. My phone rang back. It was Amrita.
“Hmm bolo….” I
spoke managing to dissolve the lump in my throat. I didn’t succeed.
“Why are you crying baby? Kya hua tumko?” I could sense her discomfort at my grief and then
how can I afford to go against someone who cares for me so much. I just
can’t..!!
“I want to see you today…please…” I almost begged to her for
she was the one who holds my hand when the entire world waves to me.
“Sure Honey….but please don’t cry nah…please…tell me what is
the problem??” She nagged for the reason.
“I will let you know” I replied her controlling any further
hiccups.
“Okay; then see me at South City mall at six. I too wanted
to see you and that’s why I called because the client meeting is cancelled and
I shall be free by five.”
“Oh! That’s great…See you then. Take care.” I let a sigh of
relief.
“Love you. Bye” she said and hung up.
Once again silence prevailed in my room as I wiped the tears
of my eyes. The drizzle had stopped by now. Everything seemed so rejuvenating.
The soft sun beams in the western sky glistening off the rain wetted grassy
lawns; the unripe buds swaying in the tenderness of the cool breeze, the
vibrant spectrum adorning the soft texture of strangling creepers, the clatter
of innocent hearts to the somnambular movement of the paper boat as ripples hit
its edges over the water held streets, the maiden aviation of those chirpy
birds into the saffron laced cobalt sky and the abhorrent me perched on the
face of an ecstatic morning timidly brushing away the haze of pardon only to
inculcate me with the saga of undiminished love…
The placid welkin gradually soaking into shades of red; I just wish my fate could also drown in those bright hues...Just a wish…
The placid welkin gradually soaking into shades of red; I just wish my fate could also drown in those bright hues...Just a wish…
An hour later I was driving through the sun impended city
with my mom to some shopping complex. She was supposed to finish up the mile
long shopping list of a customary Indian marriage. I felt so kicked from within
to be part of this shopping spree. She was gearing up for an event where the
groom sucks to clip the wings of his beloved’s wishes; parallel to it was his
family who was yet stuck in philosophies of Ram Mohan Roy. My heart ached
whenever I saw couples walking by the footpath coaxing love out every single
moment. I missed my moments with Amrita. I never knew marriage can take away
the love…
In
Indian terms marriage appeared to be the legal license of having wage free sex.
Love is just another syllable occupying the pages of dictionary…
I was just a bit short of being called as ‘Henpecked’. The
tears had somewhat left their stains in my life, I felt drowning to anchor
myself between my love and my family.
We reached the very popular Garia Bazaar to romp away with the mile long shopping list of MY
marriage. Shopping with ladies is like spending a day on Neptune; it seems
endless and sucking; but still I loved shopping with Amrita and ogling at her
while she trialed over skimpy skirts and deep necklines never let my grin fade.
“How may I help you mam?” the sales man said to my mom’s
attention.
“Show us some Zardosi.” (A Persian variety of handloom).
She replied as the sales man courteously steered us to the right section with
elegant Zardosi’s screaming to us to be purchased.
“Mom look at that golden Zardosi with Prussian
embroideries…Amrita will look stunning in it.” I said to her secretly venting
my wish of getting that for Amrita as I found her concentrating over a red
saree.
“I don’t know, you check out.” I gave way to my irritation
and was heading towards the exit.
“Where are you going??” She asked.
“Need to make a call. Catch you up in few minutes. You carry
on.” I said using my thumb and little finger to gesture a call from the exit.
‘Momentary relief’ I said to myself lighting a cigarette
standing at the parking lot.
I sloshed myself into the stimulation nicotine made every
time it inflated my lungs. I reclined on to the concrete pillar cozily letting
out flakes of dense smoke as I found the security march towards me and it was
then I caught myself standing beneath the hoarding which said “NO SMOKING”.
‘Oh! Shit…not again’ I mind spoke.
The wide, five feet five, moustache bearing guard came and
stood a foot ahead of me. He was about to say something as I made a narrow
escape. I took out the pack of cigarette, flipped it open and extended it
towards him. He winked at me in partial shock.
“Have one” I said to make him feel free.
He took two and disappeared without a word. I ended the last
of my puffs and headed back to the Zardouzi adobe.
To my good luck, the parking lot didn’t have any smoke
detectors.
I saw my mom near the billing counter finding it difficult
to manage with almost five packets loaded to its full capacity. My heart sank
imagining the bill.
“Done or anything left?” I queried with loaded sarcasm.
“Amrita’s part left; just did with the give away part.” She
replied to my absolute astonishment.
“What!” I exclaimed as her words slogged me into insane
orbits.
“32450 sir” the guy at the counter said as I slipped into
coma for a few minutes. I was sure my heart stopped. But I was happy to be alive, not for anyone but for Amrita.
I let HDFC bank take care of my shopping and handed him my
credit card. I did the formalities and left through the exit managing loaded
bags with a gloomy heart. I regretted having spent a month’s salary just to
make my relatives look sexier…
“No more shopping today…STARIGHT HOME” I told my mom with a
lot of dominancy in my pitch as the pain of a zero return investment of my
month’s salary jittered every cell of mine.
“Okay…as you wish but Amrita’s part is left.” She responded
with emotional blackmailing. She knew I will prioritize Amrita’s part but the
fear of losing few more bucks over relatives on that very day had enough goods
to drown the shopping session temporarily.
I drove like a lunatic over manholes and speed breakers till
mom shrieked- “Slowlyyyyyyyy.”
I had to abide. I obeyed.
I dropped mom at home around five and was driving en route
South City for a brief encounter with Amrita, my fiancée. Yes, now I am bored
using the term GIRLFRIEND. She had been there for five long years, not anymore.
I need to step up against any odds; after all she deserves that stepping up.
She had been the perfect girlfriend one can ever imagine. Standing by me in all
the joys and sorrows that I had been through in the past five years she made
sure that I am never left out. Every imperfect moment had seen the light of joy
in her presence and every precious moment became unforgettable. I drove through
the boisterous evening traffic as history rewinds itself in the subtle part of
my brain. I was atop the resonating Vidyasagar
Setu of Kolkata and the twilight amazed my senses. Apart from the pollution,
the environment was serene as heaven. Who cares about the ambience…the setting
sun gleaming off the choppy waters of Ganges was more than enough.
I attended the call as the phone bell drilled into the
subtle mind engrossed in revisiting the
history. Reliving the love…
“Coming angel…” I replied.
“Jaldi aao nah…”
said the doll alike Amrita.
Ten more minutes amidst the honking vehicles and I then I
find myself snuggled on to the leather finish couch at Barista. My disheveled
hairs getting finger combed by Amrita as I sat obeying silence letting myself
slosh into feminine care. I so loved that…!!!
“Didn’t shave also…Why?? Looking shabby.” She spoke as her
fingers lingered over my chin.
“Baby I am so screwed…mom wants you to quit your job for the
moment, sit back and learn household stuffs….their is so much of talk going
around our affair…and I am the culprit amongst them……” I was talking as she
interrupted.
“For god’s sake please let me work…and why is your mom so
possessive??…What is the damn fault if people fall in love and get married?? Is
it a crime?? Grow up dude its 2012….” And she continued with me sitting and
admiring my girl. She looked so beautiful in those ceaseless formals. Her
indigo colored shirt tucked into straight fit black trousers sculptured her
neatly beyond the races of mortal beauty. She was talking her heart out and the
Italian coffee delight did full justice to our session. I sat fiddling with her
identity card giving a patient hearing. I loved hearing when she talked; I
basically loved when she talked. The acute movements of her heavenly lips made
me revisit our kissing sessions in the college dorm and inside my car in the
parking lot of all the malls in Kolkata.
She paused. “Listening…?”
“Oh…!! Yes…” I fumbled as I was lathering
her lips in my imagination.
“Hmm…Good” she complimented.
“But tell me why don’t you quit working?? What will you
achieve by working two more months…?? After all you are quitting then why not
early….?? “I was still rooted to the same post even after she talked invariably
for fifteen minutes thrusting a mug full of Italian beverage.
“Please allow me, you will come to know the reason very
soon” she spoke over a lump.
She clutched my fingers and hung her head. All I could hear
her say was a ‘please’ before she broke down.
Feminine tears and attractive looks make the world go around. I was
just one such specie in that world abiding by this universal truth.
I went and sat beside her putting my right hand around her
shoulders and the left remained tucked by her.
“Don’t cry baby please...cool...you can work…I shall handle
mom…” I consoled her.
“Ritz you trust me nah...?”
She said looking into my eyes. The ‘love me’ look in her kohl eyes sets
everything straight for me.
“Ritz always does that…” I said wiping the tears of her
cheeks. I was happy to see that priceless smile and her charming dimple that
wove heavens for me. She was happy. It made my world. I was happy being her
Ritz for these years.
Ritesh to the world and Ritz to Amrita.
The evening had dawned up well. And no ambiance in this
world can win over this-the dark sky jeweled with stars-the vapor lamps cutting
through the vigil darkness-the clamor of mobs-and-you sit beside your girl
friend who rests her head on your shoulder. It’s priceless. I added to it by
turning up the stereo volume to some unbeatable hits of Kishore
Kumar-“O-Hansini”- it was and I find her snuggling up to me. I whisper in her
ears- “Easy baby…I am driving”
She was caressing my hairs and planted a warm kiss on my
neck. The wetness of her tongue eluded me out of this world. I was walking the
moon…!!
I dropped her and drove myself home. The day had opened to
the sanctity of nature’s oblivious tantrum and it couldn’t have ended better…I
was cherishing the moist imprints on my neck as I entered home.
“Where have you been??” Mom asked enjoying her daily soaps.
“With Amrita.” I confessed. I was one such kid who seldom
lies and my decency makes me suffer the churnings.
I got a dirty look in return as if I had done something to
disrupt communal harmony. I only kissed
my girl…!!! Just enough to disrupt my
mom’s harmony
Later in the evening at dinner table, I confessed to my mom
and dad that- “Amrita is not going to quit her job till a month before marriage
and I don’t give a shit to what people speak about me behind my back. She is
going to be my wife and I know how much space I should give her.”
Mom was left awestruck at my decision. She only rated me as
her son and never as Amrita’s would be husband. I was somewhat too grounded
being ‘so much of a son’ for so long a time. I needed a change and now I was
ardent over my decision.
“Why won’t she quit? She works in some cheap diagnostic
institute not in some MNC’s.” Mom strangely revolted.
“It’s not about being in a renowned organization, it’s the
responsibility she has to carry” I defended US (me and Amrita).
“That means she does not have any responsibility towards her
family. I know all these girls. They go about in those chote chote kapde and trap men in the name of working….” She
continued as I lost my decency.
“Mom….STOP IT….ITS ENOUGH…Don’t you dare talk anything about
her like that…if she didn’t had any responsibility towards the family she
wouldn’t have regularly called you up to know about you people’s health.” I
shouted and got up from the dinner table pushing my plate aside. The cutlery
toppled and mom stretched to hold it. She failed and it went crashing on to the
ground leaving behind a dead silence.
I saw dad look up to me placing a sliced cucumber in his
mouth. “You seem to totally disrespect your parents these days.”
I couldn’t take more. I was done for the day and my temper had
already given up.
“Dad please stay out of it…You hardly know what’s going
around in the family…All you care for is your profession…Did you ever cared for
your family?? Did you ever take us out for a dinner?? Forget us; did you ever bother to care for mom??
In all these thirty years did you care to wish her on her anniversary and
birthday…Bringing gifts is something which I can’t imagine…Do you have a
heart?? Do you really deserve to sit on the ‘head of the family chair’ at the
dinner table??”
I had not been so angry for a long time. I vented everything
that was taking shape in all this years. I saw mom crying. I saw dad hung his
head. I was proud to instill some realization in them. I was proud to make them
understand what relation means. I was in tears too…I disappeared into my room
and slammed the door hard. I could hear my mom holding back repeated hiccups.
She was sobbing violently. I was breathing in a terrible air of living where “Passionate Love” was battling out its
existence in some “Demonic domestic
environment which had lost its aroma of affection”. I was the one fighting
heart and soul trying to instill it once again. My cell phone beeped, Amrita
dropped me a message.
“Good night Ritz. Love you. Take
care. Had a great time with you today. Muaawaahh….”
I replied back-
“Good
night. Love you too Angel.”
Amrita always has a role to play in my tough times. The
message consoled me to some extent. The tiredness of the day loomed heavily on
me. I rested my head on the edge of the couch and my mind raced back to those
golden times we spent together.
I never knew when I felt asleep. Amrita is my morphine; just
her images are enough to get me out of these mortal pains. I comforted myself
on the couch.
Probably the third
date and the first make out with Amrita; we were in the second year of
engineering:-
“Stop ogling…bohot ho
gaya “, she chuckled seeing my jaw drop at some wild beauties. Yes, I
actually did that. I was that one lucky guy to have walked the planet who had
the liberty to check out other girls on date.
“Ah! I love blonde cheeks…” I replied and I earned myself a
slap for that. It didn’t hurt, it won’t hurt ever. Once you are in love
everything else ceases to exist. I was obsessed by Amrita. We were in Pizza
Hut; we went their having bunked our college to celebrate our relation that
completed two full months.
“Two chicken splendors” I said to the bell boy their.
“No, One…I will take Cheese Margherita…Chicken has huge fat
content.” Amrita butted in.
‘As if cheese is calorie free’ I wondered.
“Cool, as you wish” I said and shrugged my shoulders.
Deep down I was damn hungry; pizza was not at all
sufficient. It needed a naked Amrita. My hormones had been starving for two
months. They need to be flushed. Ever since we got committed she is all the way
like-‘we shall do it…we have got ample
time….blah blah…’ I was on the gateway of my skiing orgasms. ‘If she is not
getting out of her clothes today; I am done, I will go home’ I assured myself.
I was quiet a nerd to miss physics lectures just for chicken splendor; it
needed something more elegant and what better can it be than a seducing Amrita.
I sat their tucking my twitch in between the legs, she was fucking hot. Yes, I
mean it. And the perfume she had put on was more effective than any biological
pheromones…It was damn inviting!!!
I longed to get out of pizza hut.
I longed to get laid.
She wore magenta colored spaghetti top and some kind of
skirt. I was not interested in what it was rather I loved the fact that her
skirt ended inches before her knees. The dress was beautiful but I really don’t
care; I just waited for her to get out of it. I wanted to explore her….!! Her
open strands were an icing to an already delicious piece of cake. It just made
her look more ravishing…
Unclipped hair manifolds the pleasure of sex…!!
“So what’s your plan after pizza hut??” I queried to confirm
my chances.
“Nothing much” She said. I
thanked my stars.
“I have a plan.” I said, inching closer to my goal.
“Umm…Okay” she acknowledged crushing Cheese Margherita to its
sub atomic particles before thrusting it down the food pipe.
“What Okay??” I queried in utter naughtiness.
“I know your plan” she giggled as I placed my right hand a
little above her knees. What a feeling that was; I wish I could keep it
forever. I wish I was equally feasible with my left hand to help myself munch
over Chicken Splendors and just when I was about to pull away my hand, I found
Amrita feeding me. ISSUE RESOLVED…I can enjoy both the flavors at a time. The delicious pizza and Amrita’s silken
adobe.
But why did she start feeding me?? Did she love THAT thing??
I don’t know. I let my fingers maneuver the region…!!!
We left pizza hut after Amrita had consumed Margherita to
its subatomic state and I completed maneuvering her DOMAIN and headed to the
parking lot…!! I never said anything but then Amrita chose to enter my car
through the rear door. Now who on earth can resist such a temptation…at least I
can’t.
I went and sat beside her and checked that all the glasses
were rolled up. I pressed the ‘central locking’ button of my car and the roof
light went out.
She leaned forward and came near…My heart was beating to its
maxima. She closed her eyes and was breathing heavily, I removed the spaghetti
straps from her shoulder and the dress dropped down naughtily. We locked our
lips…..
…..
….”Ahh…!” I shrieked and my back was hurting like anything.
I had toppled over from the couch while sleeping. I managed to get up and
checked for injuries; there wasn’t anything visible. The table clock said- 3:15
am.
I crept on to my bed and slowly snuggled up under the quilt
and soon fell asleep after having dropped Amrita a message; it read-
Was
making out with you on the couch.
P.S- In dreams…. J
J
The morning was usual; I could feel the tension in the air.
I prayed for things to get better as I left for office.
The much awaited
day, 30th November 2012-MY MARRIAGE
We sat at the heavily decorated mandav in traditional attire. Amrita as usual was looking like a
heavenly angel. Oh!! Wait, she is wearing that same Zardouzi saree I spotted on
our shopping spree. Golden Zardouzi with
Prussian embroideries.
Did mom bought that for her? But when? I had a zillion
questions popping in my head as I saw mom standing at a distance smiling to me.
The smile said it all…I felt like running away from the mandav to my mom, give
her the world’s tightest hug and say to her that she is the world’s best mother
and I love her a lot…!!
Amrita looked so adorable in that saree and under those
miniature lamps of various hues her jeweleries shone brightly; she was just
majestic and I cannot express the euphoria within me.
“Hey’, she said to get my attention amidst the clatter of so
many invitees.
“Yes, tell”
I saw her take out a bright red box from her clutch and
extend it towards me.
“This is for you from my end for making my world so
beautiful till date…I know there is a long way to go”, Amrita said to me.
I opened the box and the sight amazed me. There was a gold
ring, on which it was inscribed with diamonds “LYR”. It meant- “Love you Ritz”.
I was numb for a moment. The dazzle of diamond almost blurred my sight.
I looked up to her and she gestured with her fingers-‘Put it
on’. I obeyed.
“This is the reason I wanted to work for those last two
months, I had been saving for this since a year and the last two month’s salary
fulfilled my need” Amrita added.
I was in some jovial shock. My lips didn’t carry a word.
All I managed to say was-“I really love you Amrita”.
She smirked- “I know baby”.
We sat opposite each other in the back drop of Sanskrit slokas.
The priests went on-
Mangalam bhagavan vishnum….
Mangalam garudadhwajah…..
Mangalam pundareekaksham……
Mangalaya tano hari…….
Mangalam garudadhwajah…..
Mangalam pundareekaksham……
Mangalaya tano hari…….
…I caught sight of mom and dad at a distance and what I saw
sent me dancing. I saw dad romancing mom; breaking into some imperfect steps of
ball dancing.
The track went on- Baho
ke darmiyaan….do pyaar mil rahe hai…
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