Aakhir Kyon Maa... , by Parul Parihar

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Aakhir Kyon Maa...  

Khush Kismat Woh Log Hai..

Jinhe Maa Ka Saath Hai mila..
Woh maa ki mamta.. Woh chaav hai mila..
Woh halki si fhatkaar.. Woh maa ka dulaar hai mila..

Par mujhe toh Maa ne hi meri..
Khud se Alag hai kia..
Mere Zindagii ke Koree Kaagaz me kabhi rang na bhara..

Kok me Jab teri Maa Mein dheemi saansein le rahi thi..
Nanhi Harkato ke Mere tune Sapne The Bhune..

Lekin Kadam maine jab iss Bejaan Dharti par liya..
Astitava ko mere Meri Janam Deni wali maa ne hi Mitta Diya..

Harr Aansu meri choti Aankho se ghirte hue..
Ko maa tune kuch yuh Nazar andaaz tha Kiya..

Khoon se mere khud ko rang kar.
Us Koree Kaagaz me meri maut kaa rang tha bhar diya..

Maa se upar toh ishwar allah bhi nahi..
Koi mazhabb koi seema nahi..

Phir kyon Tune Mujhse Zindaa Rehne Ka haq hai Cheen Liya..
Kya baba ki baatein.. Gairo ke taano ne..
Pyaar ko tera apni BITIYAA ke liye iss kadar kam tha kar diya..

Roshan toh tere Aangan ko mein bhi utna hi karti..
Jitna bhaiya ne tha kiya..

Bas farak itna tha Tune 'Ladki' keh kar Thukraa Diya..

Aur Upar wale ne Beti Keh kar apne seene se tha mujhe laga liya..

Khush Kismat hai woh.. jinhe Maa ka sath hai mila..

 

-Parul Parihar

 

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DAMINI, A Hindi poem By Parul Parihar

Aaj bhi koi harr din aansu bahaata hai..
Tasveer ke aage teri yaad ka ek deepak roz jalaata hai..

Tu toh chali gayi..
Hazaaro bebass aankho ko nam karke..
Par tere intezaar me koi aaj bhi leta hai har saans tham ke..

Har shaam ke dhalne ke sath.. Dard tera khud koi mahsoos karta hai..
Suraj ki roshni ke bina, us aakash ke sath koi aur bhi hai jo andhkaar
me rehta hai..

Tujhe jabaaz bata kar.. Pura desh sharm me dooba hai..
Par aaj bhi tujhe apni beti bta kar kisi ne gaurav se sir apna uthaaya hai..

Tere masoom sapno ke tootne ke sath.. Har dil me ek dard aakrosh ban
kar jaaga.. Shav ko tere uthane ke liye har baap aur bhai ne apna haq
maanga..

Kya tha tera kasoor.. Yeh aaj bhi harr chehra khud se sawaal karta hai..
Kis kadarr thadpi hogi tu.. Use yaad karke aaj bhi har koi martaa hai...

Maut mile un darindo ko.. Par yeh afsos har din rahega...
Beti kaha tujhe.. Lekin teri nanhi zindagi ka udhaar hamesha hum parr rahega..


Damini.. Tu toh ghar se nikli thi zindagii apni sawaarne..
Ek savere ki chahat me ye toh har koi bhul gya..
Bhor se pehle andhkaar hai..

Aur Bas andhkaar hi reh gaya...

-Parul Parihar

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Aksar , A Hindi Poem . - Parul Parihar

Aksar ek khwaish unhe paane ki..
Mjhe khud hi se juda krti gayi..

Mitti ke khilono se mann bhelaane wali..

Aaj khud mitti ki ho kr reh gayi..

Aksar ek chahat unhe paane ki..
Mjhe Dard ki duniya me le gayi..
Khuli aakho se sapne dekhne wali..

Aaj sapno ki hi reh gayi..

Aksar ek zid unhe paane ki..
Mujhe aasuyo ke sagar me doobo gayi..

Kabhi bin wajah hasne wali..

Aaj apni takdeer par ro gayi..

Aksar ek koshish unhe paane ki..
Mjhe apno se dur krti gayii..
Kabhi apno ki dularii keh laane wali..
Aaj apno me hi anjaan ban kar reh gayi..

Aksar ek khwaish unhe paane ki..
Aaj ek bas khwaish hi bankr reh gayi.. Reh gayi..

-Parul Parihar

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Its Love that cares & stays.. Forever

Looking out of my window after a heavy shower of rain drops.. The scene was glorious.. The weather had  turned so splendorous.. Cool breeze lifted my hairs every time they touched me.. A beautiful eye catching rainbow added more beauty to this weather.. With a cup of hot coffee in my left hand.. My right hand was busy playing with my long curly hair.. Which were no less than  tangled wires.. But i loved moving my hands on them..

The cool breeze and the beautiful weather turned nasty when in no time i could see the glimpse of something  in front of my eyes.. And within a fraction of second that incident was right there.. Occupying both my soul and mind..

This was not the first time when it haunted me.. A little blurred image of a man following a girl. A girl who looked quite young.. Ah! I cant see it clearly.. Who are they?

The man is holding a sharp knife in his hand..

Dark and empty streets.. With just a street light adding some light. There are many shops around but none of them is open..

And there is an old dog barking at the man.. But he is too old to even get up.. one of his leg is badly injured.. The inner flesh could be seen..
The Man made a scary look with his red eyes wide open ..

And the dog stops barking instantly.. And went to sleep keeping his face between his first two legs.. It looked as if the animal is trying to avoid the horrifying gaze of that man. A gaze which had animosity in it..

The girl by now has reached an another street.. She is breathing heavily.. And sweating profusely..  she turns back and feels relaxed to find no one there..

She is looking for some thing in her bag. The bag was one that is used to carry to offices.. quite professional..

But she cant find what she is looking for.. She is atrocious.. That can be seen easily in her eyes..

She is standing there with a clueless expressions as if she does not know what to do..  She tries to shout to call for help.. But she feel something.. The shadow of somebody standing right behind her.. The man is there. She tries to run but gets hold of her immediately....The big man around 6 feet tall with a heavy built and beard covering most of his face has horrifying eyes.. The girl is trying but she cant move. The man is strong and is almost double her..

They are talking about something. But what? I can see only their lips moving.. But it looks like the girl is pleading for something. She is crying but the man looks merciless.. He holds her head with his big hands and stabs it on the wall.. She is bleeding profusely.. And falls down to ground in no time..

Her face is covered by her long curly hair.. A halo of curls and waves..
The man now moves his hand over her face..
Her face.. Oh i have seen her some where.. Those lips,  cheeks are known to me..
But who is she ? And how come i relate to her ?

I cant see anything now. Its all dark. No light. Nothing. No man and that girl. Where is she? Is she dead ? Oh she needed a doctor she was in a traumatizing condition ?

I opened my eyes and my hair are again lifted by the cool breeze..

Aman enters the room and comes close to me. After giving me a little pack on my left cheek. He hold my hand and said, ' honey did you take your medicines ' with a serious concern in his tone.

'Yes i did.' i replied with a little smile.
Good! Let me take you to the bedroom now. Come!
He carried me his arms to my bedroom..

Aman and i are living together from a long time...  i don't know from when.? I don't even know when i met him or from when he in love with me?
Aman! I saw that girl again.! You know who is she? I asked him with lots of expectations in my eyes..!

Baby don't think about it. Its just a bad reverie.! He replied with the same answer.. The best thing about him was he knew how to maintain a cloud of calm even in the midst of my frantic questions.!!

I could see  tears  running down his cheeks.  He left me there in the room. And went out to the kitchen..

Aman- doctor! How much time it will take ?
Doctor - that incident will haunt her till the time you tell the truth

Aman- No doctor! What should i tell her that  SHE WAS THE ONE WHO GOT RAPED THAT NIGHT? NO I CANT.. I can tolerate those questions but i cant tell her this reality. I cant. I am sorry..

Doctor- OK at least tell her that you guys are married. Start a new life. Take her out.

Aman- No doctor. She will ask me many questions which will ultimately effect her health. Not now!
After fifteen minutes. He came back to the bedroom. He sat near me and placed his hand on my head.

Aman- You should sleep now Aarti! Its late..
His overwhelming concern for me always seemed like he wanted to abate my pain.. Pain.. Well i never knew which pain i suffered..!!!
Glancing at  him with a suspicious look i asked "who Aarti.??"

A little tear dropped from his left eye.. Which he wiped off immediately..

He turned off the lights and left the room...


- Author Parul Parihar

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(Boy) (Friend)

Friends.. Well.. Its not that difficult to define them.!! They are the one who stand by you even when the dogs and bitches walk out..
They are true to you and make you smile.. Yet they can be extremely Kaminas at the same time.!!
But how will one define a friendship whose intensity, insecurities and heights of possesivesness can beat any typical love story.!??

Is the tag of 'Just Friends' applicable here.??

I have one such friend.. Well.. Calling him only a friend would be a rape of our Friendship.!!
He's my world.. My happiness.. But yes he's just a friend!


Himanshu Chabbra.. 6 feet tall, good looking, perfectly toned body.. He is someone any girl will fall in love with.. (not me!)
Moreover he is funny! And is always ready to hit upon any girl with his filmy lines..(cheesy, I tell you)

I know everything about him.. (well yes I really do)
From his favorite book.. To his favorite brand! From his favorite color to favorite coffee (Bru! Yuk.. He cant afford any other!)
From his ex girlfriend to his current girlfriend(s) (He's dating three right now)

On Phone:

Me- Don't tell me!!!
Himanshu- why your sounding so shocked.??

Me- You dumbass! This is 5th time in a week your telling me that i am in LOVE.!!!
Himanshu- ale baba.. I am serious this time..

Me- like always!
Himanshu- it's too cold here in Hisar, i need a hot girlfriend now! ;)

Me- huh.. Whatever! Whats her name?
Himanshu- umm.. Priya..

Me- YOU PERVERT!! She is my sister..huh!
Himanshu- and I am your bestest buddy.!!

Me- bestest is no word.. :D
Himanshu- yah yah! Stop flaunting about your English! I know you are doing Angrezi honors.!!! but it's still B.A. :P

Me- You are an idiot.. And I hate you! (I didnt mean that)
Himanshu- whatever!! I want that girl.. In two days.. Ok! And yeah!
Change your DP, you look skinny in those pants..!!

Me- I am not that thin.. ( i am actually.. Just 40 kgs )
Himanshu- hahaha.. Poor joke.. Your Flat.!!!

Me- Haww.. Not again..
Himanshu- ok ok you have got a Kareena Kapoor figure! Happy? Hahaha
Me- I Hate Kareena, you know that..

Himanshu- you hate every girl I like.. You jealous.. Han.. Han.??

Me- Jealous my jootii.. F O.!!!
Himanshu- It's not your fault flat figure! Every girl loves me.. Mera charm.. You see.. ;)

Me- Fine! Find any other best friend then.. Someone who can buy you socks.. Someone who can edit your stupid articles.. And yeah! Someone who can remind you of your never ending anniversaries.. Find one. Huh!

Himanshu- oh oh oh.! Everything is fine.. But my articles are not Stupid!!! You know na, how much I love writing.. So no insult..

Me- okay! Fine.. By the way I have made your presentation.. Will mail you in the evening!
Himanshu- good.. And yah! Your sister.. Neha.. I want her.. Two days is the deadline..

He disconnected the call.. (I could hear her mum shouting in the background)
Me- (to myself) She is Priya. Not Neha.. Dumb!!

Priya enters the room.. As soon as i keeps my phone aside..

Rewind!! Rewind!! Rewind!! :)

I am staying with my cousin, heena in a rented Flat.. Priya is studying commerce and i am into humanities.. (Yes..Priya is the one Himanshu was talking about, YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT!!!)

Priya- it was Himanshu on phone right.??
Me- yeah!

Priya- well.. Umm.. I hope you guys are not seeing each other..
(Suspicious look)

Me- No! Never (I don't know why, but I was avoiding an eye contact)
Priya- well.. Good! He is not the right guy for you (with a sign of relief)

Me- come on! Why you hate him so much.? I mean he is sweet and cares
for me and don't worry we are just friends..

Priya- what kind of friendship is this.?? You guys talk every time.. I
mean everytime! And he broke up with so many girls because they were
insecure of your relationship..! You stopped talking to your childhood
friend, because Himanshu told you to do so.. Well... You still think i
am wrong.???

Me- (paused for a while) yes you are wrong!

Priya- what made you think so long?? Whatever.. I am going out.. Bye..
She left.. (her stilettos make too much of sound!)

I started thinking over what heena just said..
Do i like him or we are just friends.???
Why everything about him matters to me so much.??
I was thinking too deep about it but suddenly i was interrupted by a message..

It was from Himanshu (HAC)
Himanshu- Any progress.?? Did you talk to Priya?? Listen tell her I am
a 'lehkak' and you know i am decent.. Convince her baby.. ;)

I replied back to him..

Me- she rejected you in first go! Sorry :(

I don't know why i messaged that.. (i really dont know why)

He replied back..
Himanshu- eh! Tell her I was kidding.!! I mean.. You know.. I saw her
DP, she isn't that beautiful.. na.. na.. not my types.!! ;)

Me- oh.. Ho.!!! Chal I need to change.. Ttyl..

*Beep*

Himanshu- Wear your pink pajama.. You look cute in that.. :*

I smiled.. (i blushed, rather)

Huh! Whatever the world may speak about us.. Let them cook their stories.. Yes He will always be my Boy+Friend = BOYFRIEND.!!! ;)

P.S.: Himanshu is actually very Decent.....Stop spreading rumors.......... :D

-Parul Parihar

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FAITH

I never liked this place.. Nothing about this place made me happy! Life here was like a mental trauma for me..
But I know I can't run away.. Atleast for the next 3 years
(long time, indeed)

Home was always where I wanted to reside.. Until the hatred between my mum-dad developed into animosity and they finally Divorced!!!

I was permitted to live with my mom.. (my super mom, rather) My mom tolerated the little flings of my dad for 17 long years..
I was happily living with my mom.. Until she decided to marry Vikram Sharma, his senior at work! I wasn't very happy about it.. But I never opposed..
All I did is I moved to this place.. Girls hostel, chandigarh.!
No one from my family never came to me.. Mum was busy with her new life. And dad.. Well..dad never bothered!
6 months and my mom just called me 13 times.! And when I end up calling her.. Vikram uncle would make some lame excuse and would end the call..
I never felt bad about anything in my life.. I did ask my nani a lot of times..
Me- why mum and dad separated?
Nani- you are too young for this!
I never knew why dad used to have extra maritial affairs.?
How a 17 years of marriage can end.?
How can one move on after a broken past?
Many questions but no answer.! Today I am without any friend here..
I lost all my faith in relationships.. All my faith in love had died.! ....

-Parul Parihar

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I still love you..., by Parul Parihar

Life has always been very sweet to me.. A real fun, you can say! Until I met him.. Met the one who made it hell.. A real pervert he was…… I still remember… the school days….. How silly I was……..

2 years back:

I was a bright girl in school. Girls were all jealous of me! Well.. I was a perfect combo of looks and intelligence.. (At least i felt so)

But there was this ultra thin girl in my class.. Deepshika shahni..
 Oops call her Deeps.!
With her ready to have a kiss kind of lips.

She was a really popular among the sex starved bastards (unfortunately it included all the hunks and some geeks as well)  She was my biggest competition..  But apart from her, i loved everything else.. As it was the starting of the new class, there were many late admissions.. But then this guy.. Oh gosh! He was amazing.. As he entered the class, I had the same feeling which Kristen Stewart must have had when she first saw Rob Pattinson..  yah yah I am not as beautiful as Kris but he was no doubt less then rob (exaggeration is allowed, right?)  Then that senseless mam asked him to sit with that extra cheapo Deeps! Did I forget to tell his name?

Er.. Yes i did! Well he was Abhirath Rathore from Kasauli..! I had already guessed he was from the hills because of his evenly fair complexion.. I kept on staring him.. And that.. That.. Dumbass deeps was trying to be extra sweet with my guy.. (Yes, he was already mine). That day was my extra lucky day.. Abhirath finally approached Me.!

Abhirath- Hey, I am Abhirath!

Me- Oh,  hi.. (it was rather a  haayee)

Abhirath- your name?

Me- Oh.. Hm.. I am Charu..

Abhirath- A guy told me that you are the brightest lass in my class, so Can I borrow your English notes?

Me- of course, you can (ah! So mean)

I handed him the notes and he was gone.. Not even a thank you, not even a fake Thank-you-smile.... Bizaare!

Next day:

He came to me running again :)

Abhirath- Hey Charu! I have a problem with the 3rd chapter of English..

If you don’t mind can you stay back with me in school and help me?

Me- Ah! Well.. I need to ask my mum first….. ( Try it on knees, Buddy :-P)

Abhirath- Hmm.. Why don’t you tell your mom that you are busy with some debate practice? It will work.. …Hey, ask any of your friend to convey this message to your mom..

Me- okay! (

Abhirath- oh thanks.. You’re a sweetheart Charu.. I love u yaar..

And he ran away again..

In addition, i left there alone motionless :)

He was like a beautiful dream to me. I was in love with him, without any reason. Just in LOVE :)

I did as he said. I told my friend to convey that lie to my mom. She had many questions in her mind but i did not bother to answer any. ;-)

After school:

Abhirath was already waiting for me outside the library with a huge smile. We went inside. . It was very difficult for me to avoid looking at his angelic eyes. . I started teaching him voices. He suddenly interrupted me and said. .

Abhirath- so do you have any boyfriend?

Me - no.

Abhirath- lucky me ;)

I blushed.. And he was getting late, so he went away..

There from a distance. . .

Abhirath- (shouting) enough for today madam. See you tomorrow.

I waved, and left for home.

Next day in school:

Abhirath- so Miss you are staying back right. ?

Me - yes i will. ( I blushed, thinking what happened yesterday. I was in love with everything around her. I was happy to spend some time with him.)

Abhirath- thanks and yah stop blushing :)

 He rubbed my nose and ran away again.

My feelings for him grew stronger with time. We started staying back daily after school... His English lectures were tuning into hangout sessions. Her Teacher was becoming his buddy now.

He was quick, One day that dream happened which I started to row every night. He said those three magical words to me. And yes it was a reality.:) Everything was like a wonder.

We started talking a lot on phone, and words like Babu, mithoo, shone were a part of my dictionary now.

Life was like a coaster ride :) finally our final exams arrived.

Last exam:

I asked him to meet me behind canteen. Nevertheless, surprisingly he didn’t turn up.

I asked his friends where he was. One of them told me he saw him going to the music department. I instantly ran and what i saw was Unbelievable. . . .

Abhirath and deeps were kissing each other. I ran away to my place. I did not cry. I was just numb. I went straight to my mom, and told her that i want to stay with my cousin and want to complete my schooling and college from there. My mom wanted to know why? But i didn’t answered. I locked myself in my room.. I broke my sim-card. I told my mum to tell my friends that i was out of town...

As soon as my result came,  I left for my cousin’s place…. Leaving behind all the old memories. . Leaving behind Abhirath..

PRESENT:

These two years here in Delhi had been okay. . I was all occupied with my studies. I never tried to know where he was. Nor did he……

Until today. . I log in to my FB account. And was shocked. . .

Abirath Shahni wants to be your friend..

Today i could get answers to all my questions. Today i could know why

he did so . .

However, all i did was deleting the request.

Within heart, i still loved him.

I still….

-Parul Parihar

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